


Masquerade

by Drew244, Tiger_with_spots



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Christner, Conflict, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, Learning To Communicate, Maturing, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Drug Use, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Violence, Miscommunication, Partying, Personal Growth, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, University, alcohol use, chasemarsh, girls protecting girls, implied PTSD, pricefield, thirsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 12:19:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 40,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10412022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drew244/pseuds/Drew244, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiger_with_spots/pseuds/Tiger_with_spots
Summary: “You want the bad girl.” she insists as she gently scratches my inner thigh. I know she’s goading me but nonetheless there’s a sharp flare of arousal within my lower abdomen.“Behaveand I’ll let you do your worst,” I blurt out.Her pupils shrink, stunned, before they engorge with restrained lust…ORThree years after the destruction of Arcadia Bay, Kate Marsh, now a college student, goes to a masquerade party and finally summons the courage to ask out a gorgeous girl to dance. Unfortunately this woman is not who she expected….IN SHORTKate asks the best and the worst woman to dance with her and everything spirals out of control (in the best and the worst way).





	1. Mask on! Game on!

**“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” – Oscar Wilde**

 

_Kate’s POV_

 

I struggle with the zipper of my dress for the umpthenth time. I tried the few ones I own and this is the right choice. I think so. Maybe the dark purple one fit better? Or the green one? Should I let my hair down or tie it? Bun or ponytail? Maybe I should just stay here and work on that paper for my ethical reasoning class. Goodness, I am so nervous! It will be my first real party since… since well, since the last party I went to. Hopefully this time there won’t be a video of me high out of my mind and making out with half of a football team and a cheerleading squad. This time, it will be fine, it will be fun and at the bare minimum it will be _nice._ Internally I repeat this mantra over and over again as I straightened my dress out one last time. I will be safe with my two best friends, Max and Chloe.

 

It’s been three years since the whole Blackwell fiasco. A few days after my suicide attempt, a freak storm came and literally destroyed the city, leaving only a few buildings standing, including Blackwell Academy and the hospital.

 

Luckily, the death toll was very low, but people died, people lost their homes and livelihoods for seemingly no reason. It was truly a tragedy. I volunteered where I could at the emergency centers,  but pretty soon my family took me back home to a small town outside Portland.  I was one of the lucky ones, I still had a home…

 

After that, Chloe, her mother, her stepfather, Max and I joined my own family and the three of us finished high school. Max had to convince her parents to let her stay with us, but my parents were the one who made them believe it was for the best (and the school’s reputation we finally attended together). Yes, even Chloe went and got her G.E.D. We moved to Seattle for college the following year into a small two bedroom apartment, not liking the idea of dorms, and all three of us received scholarships at Seattle U. Myself for both my academic results and my illustrating talent, Max’s for her photography and Chloe for school perseverance, a special program for former dropouts who returned to get a diploma. While I went to study in visual arts, Max went for journalistic photography and Chloe went into computer science.  

 

Our parents give us some money to help with cost-of-living and we all work part-time to cover the rest of the expenses. It’s a lot of budgeting but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, living this unique experience with my two best friends has been the best adventure I could’ve asked for. Both girls helped me a lot through my depression, anxiety and my own self discovery since we left Arcadia Bay behind us.

 

My friends supported me through my chronic nightmares of the creepy photo sessions in the dark room; of people laughing at me as they watched that video over and over again. They were there when I got back from a date with the sweetest guy I ever met and felt awful for not being into him, despite him being everything I thought I wanted. Chloe and Max reassured me when I felt guilty for feeling attracted by my science lab partner, a cheerful and pretty girl. And when I admitted my stupid crush on Max to Chloe she,  surprisingly, was really cool with it. She told me it was normal because of the intense events that brought us closer (and the fact that Super Max was freaking awesome). She was never jealous nor threatening towards me, in fact, she encouraged me to pursue other girls instead. Both girls also learned to deal with my anxiety. That was the hardest to come by. I was never an anxious person before but, unfortunately I learned that PTSD is a very real thing. Most people imagine it as hyperventilating and hysterical crying but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, I just didn’t feel good enough to do something. Other times, I had these irrational fears, like something catastrophic was going to happen, no matter what I did or what anyone else said. And there was times where I wanted to destroy myself. Those moments were the darkest. I wanted to punish myself for everything negative that was and had ever happened to me. One time I gave in...

 

Luckily, Max came into my room to borrow a book I had and saw me, left arm freshly bleeding with the first cut. Just like the roof, she took a hold of me and brought me back to the light. I will never forget how her hand clasped over my wound, the rich blood seeping through her fingers. There’s still a pale scar reminding me of this moment of weakness. Therapy has helped a lot, yet Max and Chloe saved me countless times during my journey. They helped me grow in a better, stronger person. I changed so much since my Blackwell days.

 

I’m still a devout Christian, but a much more liberal one than my family, who are surprisingly quite understanding. Sexuality is not a sin, and neither is homosexuality. This was one of my biggest issues since I was struggling to come to term with my own sexual orientation. Max and Chloe helped me figure out why I was so uncomfortable with the idea of dating. I just never never thought of dating a girl. And once I realized that was a possibility...it was the only possibility I wanted. I even came out to my family last summer. I braced myself for disownment, I prepared myself to cry buckets...however my family was so accepting. Even my mother, who I was certain would Damn me to Hell because she doesn’t approve of anything I do, just threw up her hands in surrender. “Well, I love the Ellen Degeneres show. I would be a hypocrite if I couldn’t love my own daughter.” And my father actually tried to match me with one of our church friend’s daughter who lives in Seattle. Except that girl is nearly ten years older than me and not my type. I have nothing against butch girls but I prefer my women more feminine.

 

I learned that I was what they called a ‘lipstick lesbian’ as Chloe taught me.

 

Oh, and my sisters gave me a pride flag. _An actual real pride flag_ that they bought together as an early birthday gift. That was the sweetest thing. It’s proudly, pun unintended, hanging above my bed now. And they also had a embroidered patch made stating ‘Christian, gay, and proud of both’, which is sewed on my school bag. Those two are adorable.

 

Before coming out to my family, I was quite content with my single status. I still had a hard time accepting myself, so I only watched women from afar, happy to be a simple spectator in this show that is life. But after coming out, after my parents asked me if I had a special someone and after my dad trying to play match-maker... I realised I wasn’t satisfied watching potential lovers from afar anymore. I needed to be the main character in my own life and participate in the show!

 

And, um, I also discovered something else about myself...that I desired... _intimacy._ More and more the idea of finding someone who I could share my _passions_ with; intellectually, emotionally and **physically…** thrilled me. That was one of my final obstacles as I spent many a sleepless night internally debating whether or not to break my vow of abstinence.

Finally one day I took off my promise ring and put it into the wooden jewellery box that my grandmother left me after she passed away, where I hide my most important belongings. I don’t regret taking the vow. But if I take a lover, then I don’t want to restrain how we can express our ardor for each other.

 

I believe God loves me. Stupid hormones or otherwise.

 

But there’s one issue. I’m an absolute coward when it comes to meeting actual girls. I was brought to the doorway of many a LGBTQA event...and just ran away before I even entered the place. I can walk up to a cute girl… and walk away as soon as possible because I internally freak out.  

 

However, I’m just about done with being such a...a scaredy cat! I’ve come a long way from being a victim. I’m taking control of my own destiny, starting now.

 

Tonight's the night I try for the first time to go meet some girls and flirt a little, on my own accord, without someone dragging me there. Before, I would have completely bailed out, too intimidated to do anything. But tonight, I’M DOING THIS! I look at myself in the mirror, see my reflection, and take a deep breath. As I apply some mascara I stop myself, sighing. It’s going to be covered anyway. The party theme itself is the only thing that calms me down a little. I’m grateful a mask can cover my awkwardness as I try to have fun and be social. It’s a masquerade party in some club, a really rich kid organized the whole thing since the last three years. This is apparently the event of the year, taking place right before halloween, and the whole campus has been buzzing about it for weeks. Even the Greek organizations, who typically throw the craziest parties, are hyped for this. And Chloe has been talking about it non-stop since the beginning of the semester because this is the first year Max and I can attend. The whole event is a 21 and over club. That kid must be really rich to own an actual bar before he’s even graduated.

 

Right now, Max is still in the shower, and Chloe is currently taking care of the masks, she insisted making them herself, putting the last touch to them. She’s been working on that for about nearly two weeks. She had several masks to make. She made some project last year which included wearable masks for one of our art classes and this attracted a lot of attention apparently. She got several orders for this year’s masquerade. Around a dozen, all absolutely gorgeous from what little I saw. She was really secretive with the whole thing.

 

After more than thirty minutes of fidgeting in my room, I decide to step out and join Chloe in the kitchen. The punk girl went back to her natural color but kept a similar haircut. She is dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a nice white button-up shirt with a gray vest that hugs her form perfectly, and Max was apparently successful to convince her to drop the beanie for tonight. I like her hat, it’s cute, but she’s always wearing it. It’s nice to see her without it from time to time. My tall friend is sitting at the table, putting the last touch to the masks. I take a closer look, and I am surprised to see the final result.

 

There is three of them. One is gold and black with small, round, colorless gemstones above each eye. The piece has an intricate, sophisticated design. The second one is very similar, except it is silver and doesn’t have gems. The third one is also silver and has a more simple design to it. More masculine too. I can easily guess which one will be mine since the two silver ones are clearly a matching pair, which is one of the ways to identify couple and avoid some drama.

 

Chloe wolf-whistled, “Wow, Kate! Look at you! It’s easy to rock a black dress, but you girl kill it! The poor women at that party will either hate you for having all the attention or fight over you. You look hella hot!” Chloe jumps from her seat and circles around me, staring at me from all angles. She goes back to the table and picks up the gold mask before turning to me and putting it on my face. I am quite surprised at the cold feel against my skin. Those are apparently made of aluminium, a step-up from the cardboard base she used in her project last year. “I used the plaster cast I made from you face to make it. It should be correctly adjusted.” She moves toward my back and ties it behind my head, trying to hide it under my curly hair, which I finally decided to let down for tonight. “Comfy?”

 

“Yes. It’s really nice. Light, and it feels natural.” This is a great craft, as usual. Chloe as a way with that kind of precise work of art, just like with her drawing and tattoos. This is why she’s becoming more and more in demand in the tattoo shop where she works part-time, because she has an amazing talent.

 

“What I was hoping for. The color really bring out your eyes! You’re stunning.” I felt my cheeks blush under the mask. I know my roommate is trying so hard to make me confident and comfortable with the idea of an actual party. However, I’m still touched by her nice words. “Want to review the rules to a successful, safe night out?”

 

I roll my eyes and smiled at her. I know those rules by heart now. I lifted my right hand in salute as I recited, “I will not accept drinks from strangers, if I do, I will order it myself at the bar, and I will keep whatever I am drinking in my line of sight no matter what, in my hands if possible. I will stick close to you and Max, and seek your help if anything or anyone is bothering me. Anything else?”

 

“You forgot the most important one… “ Both Chloe and I jump a little at Max’s sudden entrance. Her hair is longer now, going past her shoulders and she tied it in an elegant ponytail. She is wearing a backless dark blue dress that stops just above the knee. She looks absolutely beautiful. Chloe just stood there, mouth agape, probably thinking that she was the luckiest woman on the planet. “You will try to have fun, get to know people, flirt a little, dance around. Just relax. Chloe and I will be your bodyguards for tonight. No worries.” Her girlfriend let a loud snort when she mentions bodyguards

 

“Yeah, me and the Hobbit will keep you safe.”

 

“Hey! I’m not that short!”

 

Chloe leaned on Max’s shoulder, like a counter-rest, “You’re right, you’re not a hobbit... you’re a dwarf. You’re the Gimli to my Legolas, it’s hella fine” Max playfully swatted at her girlfriend,

 

“Bring your pretty face to my axe!” Max quoted in a deep voice.

 

“You’re like, the hottest dwarf I’ve ever seen by the way. Where did get that dress? And why didn’t you wear it before? It’s hella sexy, Super Max!” Chloe hugs her girlfriend tightly, kissing the top of her head. “I’m gonna need to watch you closely. Don’t want another lesbo to snatch you away!”

 

As I watch them goof around a feeling of content fills me yet a familiar sting in my heart is also present, yearning for the same happiness. The same love.

 

Maybe the night won’t be too bad.

 

Maybe…

 

***

 

I felt my eyes widen as we approached the club, “this is a ‘private party’?” I asked out loud. The venue _was huge_ , with what must’ve been around a hundred people lining up around the building and down the block trying to get in. Tingles of anxiety began to prick within my chest. The is my first time in a long time going to a party… it’s also my first time in an actual club. Judging from the giant luminous sign on the building ‘The Crown’, to the tall, suited up bouncers, to the actual red carpet at the entrance, this place was _the_ club to be at.

 

Chloe patted my back, “yup, the party of the semester. Told you we had to bring our A-game.” she whistled. We are apparently on the VIP list because Chloe made the organizer’s own Venetian styled mask among all those she did. So, fortunately we don’t have to wait in this crazy line. ‘All this for a party?’ I couldn’t help but wonder. I gulped, _note to self; when Chloe tells you to prepare for a party_ _do not doubt her._

 

As we continue down the block, past the avenue of excited party-goers, I can feel the bass pulse through the wall and press, gently, against my skin. As we approach the entrance the music echoing out onto the street becomes clearer and clearer to my ears. I take a few calming breathes through my nose and concentrate on following Chloe. For a brief moment Chloe’s long lanky form transforms into the slender 18 year old Dana, leading me to the Blackwell gym ‘don’t worry, it’s going to be awesome’ she says and I nod, reaching up to squeeze my cross…

 

“Everything’s Ok” Max’s voice pulls me back to the present.  Max is beside me, holding my right arm, soothing my initial worry. She’s right. I see Chloe put on her mask and I follow suit. She turns onto the red carpet just as I tighten the knot. Here we go.  My friend gives our names to the bouncer, and he let us in. In the entrance, as elegant as the outside with rich dark purple colors and silver accents, we give our coats to a cute redhead who smiles shyly at Chloe, who is way too busy looking at Max’s bareback to notice, before a very charming man welcomes us. Tall, muscular, with olive skin, dark brown eyes, and thick black short hair.

 

“Well, hello Price! Happy to see you.” He turns toward us. “I’m Simon, the humble organizer of this _little_ soirée. Let me explain to you guys how we’re doing things tonight. We have LED bracelets for people.” he shows us the multiple bins, organized by color. All filled with bright, neon bracelets, “Red are for people not available, like couples or people not interested in getting a date this evening; green for singles; yellow for couples who seek a third one for the night. The second bracelet is for those singles or couples seeking someone. We have blue for straight; purple for bisexual; and pink for gay and lesbian. And before someone comments on it, yes, I know there is more to spectrum than these three, but this was getting way too complicated… and we were running out of colors”

 

I feel my eyes cross a bit at all the bracelets, trying to remember all the meanings of each color.

 

“Great! Max and I will take yellow.” Max threw Chloe a bemused look, which caused Chloe to bust out laughing.“Just kidding. Red for the two of us.” I am pretty sure I heard a ‘Nice try, Shaka Brah’ coming from Max as Simon gives them the red bands.

 

“And you, beautiful golden queen?” Simon turns toward me. I blush slightly at the compliment, thankful for the mask.

 

I looked upon all of them, trying to find my signifiers, “Green and pink.” I take both bracelets as he handed them to me before putting both on my left wrist.

 

“What a shame! I was about to invite you to dance. Well, I guess I’ll find my queen somewhere else. I do hope you find yours tonight too. There’s plenty of beautiful women who are into women tonight.” Simon bows before me. “Before I forget, here’s my special stamp!  You all gets free drinks all night. That’s to thank you for not only the amazing mask but for also finding the DJ, Price.” He stamps our hands with a jester logo and motions us toward the door at the end of the hall. “Enjoy your night ladies, and if some assholes bother you, just go to the bouncers. We are used dealing with drunk morons.”

 

“Nice! Let’s get wasted!” Price proclaimed loudly and she dragged us out of the lobby and inside the actual club. Max glances at me with both an amused and exasperated look in her eyes. Drunk Chloe is quite the one to handle, especially since she becomes even more affectionate than usual. This will be funny to watch. You’re on your own there, Super Max! The poor Uber driver will have quite a show at the end of the night. Max will let her girlfriend do whatever she wants because secretly, my savior loves PDA.

 

The exterior of the club did not convey just how gigantic the interior was and just how packed it already was. The bass pulsates within my lungs, there’s people everywhere I look, there’s bright colors everywhere as the various lighting systems blinks in rhythm with the music, and the air smells like a mixture of way too many perfumes, colognes and sweat.

 

There is a main level, where the dance floor, completely saturated with people, and the DJ are, and a second one, mezzanine like floor above with tables, who seems to be a VIP space too since there’s a bouncer controlling the access at the base of the stairs. We start by stopping at the main bar counter to order some drinks. Chloe goes for a beer, Max for a Pina Colada and I let myself be tempted by a Bloody Caesar because beer is disgusting and sweet drinks, even without alcohol, tends to make me sick in great quantities.

 

“Can I have half the amount of Vodka?” I asked. The bartender rose an eyebrow at me, not hearing over the music, “Can. I. Have. Half. The. Amount. Of. Vodka?” I try shouting at him. He blinked at me, again, not really understanding what the Heck I was asking. Ugh, ok, why is the music just as loud with the lights even dimmer at the bar? That made no sense. I try one more time to phrase my request though miming. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at charades. And I must look completely ridiculous to every outsiders right now doing exaggerated hands motions to make him understand my simple request.

 

A smile bloomed on his face as he nodded, lifting up the universal A-Ok sign with his fingers. He then dumped in a particularly large amount of Vodka. Knowing it was a lost battle, I just smiled and took it from the man. A strangle of nervous energy tightened in my chest. _Don’t worry, I’m here with Chloe and Max. Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing…_

 

I took a sip. And coughed, throat burning as the alcohol goes down.

 

Oh, Christ! That was strong.

 

We find some free table on the second floor, after showing our stamps to the employee, and I end up watching people dancing to the loud music, slowly getting into the party. Many couples and groups are formed on the floor below, moving to the steady beat the DJ is pumping in the place. Some are obviously more talented than others. Many just stand in place swaying left and right, not really dancing. Near the opposite wall from my location, I spot a guy, typical douchebag like, leaning against the hard surface, chatting a pretty brunette. Their body language scream seduction and sexuality. I widened my eyes when I see the girl lowering herself on her knees and… Come on! Doing that in the middle of a club? Get a room! Seriously, what the heck? It doesn’t take long before security showed up along with Simon and kindly ask them to leave. The guy seems aggressive and end up with his arm twisted behind his back and dragged toward the exit. Okay, I have to admit that this is highly entertaining. More than I thought.

 

I decide to pay attention to the people on the second floor, maybe try to find a single girl with a pink or purple bracelet. I spot a stunning redhead, chatting with a group of people and before I can even appreciate the view, some guy get in my line of sight and kiss her. Better luck next time I guess.

 

I can hear Chloe and Max chatting loudly beside me, clearly enjoying the blaring music and the crowded place. Just as I’m about to get up to get another drink, luckily less strong than my first, a young man leans over the table, hovering over me.

 

He gave me a toothy grin, “Hi there…” Before he can even finish his phrase, I hastily lift my left wrist. He looks at me puzzled. I point at my wrist, annoyed. Did I get the wrong colors? His expression morphs into a sheepish one as he answers, “I’m colorblind. Like true, grayscale colorblind.” What? Is this a joke? Oh… “Nearly got punched three times already by overjealous boyfriends and once by a lesbian. Sorry to bother you.” he turns away, face crestfallen.

 

Feeling absolutely terrible I quickly grasp his sleeve, stopping him, “Not it’s fine. That was a little bit rude of me. If you want to meet single ladies, go at that table near the stairs, all the women are single and straight from their bracelets.” I discretely point toward the six women who are having a lot of fun by the look of it.

 

“Thanks! I owe you one!” He leaves, practically skipping his way to the table with a smile on his face.

 

That was weird. And oddly cute. He reminded me of one of the puppies of the pet shelter I work at.

 

I finally make a sign to my friends that I’m going for another drink. Chloe points her bottle and I lift a thumb up to confirm I will get her another beer. There’s a smaller bar on the second level so I don’t have to go very far. I order another bloody caesar and the strongest beer they have in stock, because I completely forgot to check what Chloe was drinking and I know that’s probably what she got earlier. She’s not really difficult in term of drinks. Cheap and strong is her motto.

 

As I wait, I feel a light tap on my left shoulder. I turn around to see a woman with dark hair standing and smiling at me. Oh! she’s cute....She leans toward me and says into my ear

 

“Hey! You’re really hot” Is she flirting? Oh my gosh, what do I do!? My eyes trailed down to her wrist, green and pink. Ah! It’s happening! I’m getting approached by a girl!! I grin at her, so incredibly excited. We make some small talk and she seems normal (thank goodness). A business major, from Miami, she’s a senior and that’s kind of attractive. Ok, Kate, I tell myself, time to ask her for a dance. Do it. Do it. Do it!  

 

“So, would you---” I ask,

 

She cuts me off, “And my boyfriend would _really_ like to watch us make out. Maybe even have a nice ménage à trois if you’re up to it” Wait, what? My eyes trailed down, I guess I missed the yellow and purple… no, she was still clearly wearing the green and pink bracelets. I’m certain because I’m not colorblind!  What the heck? Why even use this type of deception?! Did they honestly think this was going to be the best tactic of getting their third body?

 

“Sorry, I’m gay.” I answer curtly, keeping my tone polite even as a bitter indignation heats up my body.

 

“That’s why I’m asking” she persists, undeterred, saccharine smile on her face. Ugh, if you want that kind of arrangement, target someone who’s also into men.

 

“No, I’m not some toy or experiment for couples. I’m not interested. You should look for a purple bracelet” I answer, still keeping cool despite the sizzle of anger beneath my skin.

 

She shrugs, disappointed, “Damn. I’ve asked, like, four other girls with purple bracelets. What is up with all these prudes? I mean isn’t this Seattle?”

 

That response from her throws whatever patience and forgiveness I have out the window, “Perhaps if you were more honest and upfront, rather than using slimy, underhanded methods, you and your boyfriend would have more luck” I tell her, my tone colder than my heart at the moment.

 

She scowls at me, clearly scorned and a bit ashamed,“Calm your tits, bitch. You’re not that hot anyway!” She spits her words at me before turning around and disappearing in the crowd.

 

As soon as she’s gone I slump against the bar counter, deflated of any good mood. Wow, this night going as well as a dentist appointment; terrible. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. I could always tell my friends I’m not feeling well and go back home. I look over to Max and Chloe and feel my heart drop a little. They’re chatting up and laughing with some of our classmates; both of them are all smiles and I can see how they’re both getting more and more happily inebriated. They’re having a great time, how could I rain on their parade?

 

The barman get me out of my reverie and hands me the drinks. I go back to our table and greet Stacy and Alex, who are sitting opposite to Chloe and Max.

 

Stacy is an absolutely gorgeous woman, tall and slim. Very model like, who likes to change hair colors so often that I’m not even sure of what her natural color is. She’s sporting a very nice greyish blue tone for a week now. She’s in the same photography program as Max. They both share a passion for Polaroid pictures.

 

Alex is a short girl with a dark pixie cut. She’s the cute, quiet, nerdy kind and is attending the same computer science classes as Chloe.

 

They’re a really adorable couple too. Just like Max and Chloe. And in all honesty, I envy all four of them. I try not to be, but sometimes, like now, I just wish I had such a nice, healthy relationship like they all have.  Hopefully with a lady who I found as attractive as these four women in front of me.

 

It hurts sometimes. But I swallow the the pricks of pain and happily join in their conversation

 

We chat for a few minutes before I space out again, slightly bored. My eyes scan the surroundings, looking for anything of interest: someone fell over, clearly drunk; more people heading towards the dance floor; wow, that pillar was actually nicely designed… something catches my eye and I quickly look back, I saw something -- what was it?

 

And then, I finally see what I’ve been searching for so long.

 

Mid-length blonde hair, barely brushing pale shoulders. Face half covered by a very nicely designed black cat mask. Tall. Well, she looks taller than me from where I’m sitting. Somewhat athletic, with a silver halter top and a pair of very tight fitting leather pants.

 

She’s beautiful.

 

No, scratch that.

 

She’s freaking **_hot_ **!

 

I must be gawking because our table is very quiet now. I quickly look at my friends who just stare back, all with an amused smile.

 

“Looks like Kate finally found something interesting in this place. Or should I say someone.” Max smirks at me, pointing toward Miss Cat-Lady.

 

“Jesus Kate, you got nice taste!” Chloe put her arms and bring me close. “Single and gay too. You should totally go talk to her!”

 

Wait, I didn’t even check the bracelets. I glance back to the Goddess and look at her wrists. Chloe is right, she has the right colors.

 

Oh my gosh!

 

This is faith. It must be.

 

Wait, not so fast. Last green and pink was NOT a green and pink.

 

_Fuck._

 

Plus, she’s not alone. She has two friends with her. Another tall blonde and a shorter brunette, both with red bracelets. I can’t do this.

 

Yes, you can!

 

No. Never gonna happen!

 

For heaven’s sake, I came here to get out of my shell. To grow up. To flirt. To meet someone.

 

I can’t do this.

 

And the way my friends watch my every movement is not helping at all.

 

Seriously guys, look away!

 

“Kate, stop freaking out.” Max is now sitting beside me, switching places with Chloe. “You’re not going to war, just talking to a pretty girl. Breath.”

 

“I’mnotfreakingoutwhatmakeyouthinkthatI’mfreakingoutI’mperfectlycalmneverbeencalmerinmyentirelife.” in retrospect, it may have not been convincing but it was darn impressive I said that all in one breath.

 

She takes my hands, as she has countless times before,“Breath. This girl has been looking at you since we got here. She looked really pissed off when that girl chatted with you at the bar counter. Just go talk to her. Hey, how are you? How did you find this party? Are you a Seattle U student? Easy topics, small talk. Just relax, be yourself. At worst, she will politely decline you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” How does she do this? Every time I freak out on her, Max always finds a way to calm me.

 

“Ok.” I answer, standing up, feeling a bit imbued with courage. I take one step towards that gorgeous girl’s table and see her make a quick glance towards me...and then I take a hard right turn,

 

“I’ll just get a drink first.” I tell my friends, my voice high-pitch with anxiety.

 

“Get that liquid courage, girl!” Stacy cheers. Max’s mouth purses, a bit concerned. She gets like this everytime I drink. Before she can say anything, Chloe slaps the table, excited,

 

“You need any help?” Chloe asks, slurring a little, “can carry you over there---or drag her to you…” Max squeezes Chloe’s thigh,

 

“Kate’s got this.” she assures her girlfriend before she gets too gung-ho about her plan.

 

“If you need any help at all, just wave at us and the scissor sisters will come to your aid” Max whapped Chloe’s arm, mortified, while Stacy and Alex just giggled uncontrollably. Chloe continued, “Don’t worry, you go, Bun Bun!!” Chloe laughed before she turned and planted a big, wet kiss on Max’s mouth. I give poor Max ten minutes before Chloe jumps on her and showers her with kisses and drunk love declarations.

 

I stride over to the bar, woman on a mission. I wave over the bartender and I gesture him to lean close.

 

I take a breathe and spill it out before I can think twice, “Look, I have to ask out the most beautiful woman I have ever met to dance. I’ve never done this before and have no idea what I’m doing. Give me a shot of whatever will make me feel like I’ve done this a million times before and she’s only going to say yes”

 

The bartender looks me dead in the eye as he states, “So you want cunninlingus.”

 

I flinch, mortified. “What!?” I gawked at him. No! I did not want-- ok, so I did, but one step at a time! Come on, regardless of my past I am a classy lady and just want to ask a beautiful woman to dance. That’s it! If we hit it off and it felt right then, ofcourseitwouldbeanoption but that would be much later and excuse me that was just _rude--_

 

The bartender smiles, good humor in his dimples, “don’t worry, it’s just a drink. Let me make it.”

 

I see him first grab a bottle of Irish cream and pour some in the measuring tool before adding it to the shaker, then grab a bottle with a peach on it, add its contents, before adding... pineapple juice? I stared as he shook the shaker vigorously and poured the liquid into a shot glass. If I went back in time and told my teenaged self that one day she would be ordering a shot of... _ahem_ , at a club in order to ask a girl to dance, I think my younger self would’ve either died of laughter or died of a heart attack.

 

He lifts up a can of whipped cream and looks at me, silently asking if I want some on top of it. I shake my head in answer. It’s already ridiculous enough that I’m getting... _ahem._ Adding whipped cream on top just is too much for me. He put down my shot in front of me nods with a grin. I lift up the glass and sniff it at first. I tip it to him, then put it to my lips and let my head dip back, letting the concoction slide down my throat.

 

I gulp it down...then lick my lips,“that’s actually quite tasty. A little thick, creamy and just a bit tangy--”

 

The bartender winked at me, “Just like the real thing.” he answered.

 

My voice dies as soon as I heard that...what? Really? Well, that would explain the name. The bartender gives me a cheeky grin and reaches over the bar to give my forearm an encouraging tap, “go get her, tiger”

 

As I walk back I run my tongue along my teeth...well, if that was how it actually tasted then sign me up because it was delicious. Thank goodness I was wearing a mask because I could feel my own neck and face flush in embarrassment at my own self-realization. God, I’m gay. I keep my eyes locked on the woman with the cat mask. As I approach her and feel my heart thud, I confess to God, that I’m really, really gay.

 

And I pray that he doesn’t let me down now.

 

And he doesn’t.

 

Because just as I reach the beautiful Cat-Lady table, I feel myself slip on something and slam into their table. The three girls all jumped in their seats, taken off guard. The two with red bracelets were holding their drinks, but the Cat-lady’s drink actually shakes and falls off the table. Then, in what I can call an actual miracle, I catch it with an agility I didn’t know I possessed. Some liquid jumped out of the glass and splattered on my feet but as I lift up the glass, I see that I somehow saved a good 2/3rds of it. I simply hand the glass back to the very surprised woman, staring into the most deep green eyes I’ve seen.

 

Totally meant to do that!

 

(Yeah, right…)

 

“Hello! I’m wondering if you would do me the honor of sharing a dance with me?” I manage to ask without stuttering or voice cracking. Even though proud of my smooth delivery, I internally cringe at that lame, _really_ old-fashioned invitation. This is what happens when you never dated before and your parents only showed you really old movies that displayed a very formal way of courtship.

 

There’s a long beat of silence from the other woman. My heart stops beating. Oh no. I misread the situation. She doesn’t like what she sees. She wanted someone else to ask her. She hates how I spilled about half of her drink… Was there a roof I could jump off of _now_?

 

I saw those green eyes twinkle and her lips stretch into a long, devious smirk.

 

“Took you long enough,” she said, cool ire tinging her voice.

 

I blinked at her, completely speechless. Of all the things I imagined and bet that this woman would say...this was not it. “Um.” I uttered. What was something cool and witty I respond to that? Before I could come up with anything decent she stood up quickly and for a brief moment I was caught off guard at her height - she was probably around the same height of Chloe, so I felt like a hobbit next to her. Without even speaking she grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I could only follow her, dumbfounded. She said yes. She said yes….

 

SHE SAID YES!!!!

 

I look over and saw Chloe raising her bottle of beer in cheers. Max winked and gave a simple thumbs up. Alex and Stacy, shit-eating grins on their faces, waved their hands, two fingers in the air. It took me a second to realize they were making scissor motions. I waved at them, shy and feeling like the most awkward child ever.

 

My heart thudded along to the beat as I followed this girl. My stomach filled with excited dread. I was going to dance with her! Oh goodness sake’s I was going to _dance_ with her. I brush past the undulating, sweaty bodies following her to the center of the dance floor. All I could do was stare at how her hair trailed down her along her spine and the defined lines of her shoulderblades. That back was worth hours of sketching.  

 

Then she turned around, swift, facing me. I stumbled a bit, not expecting her to turn so quickly. I felt her hands grab my forearms, stabling me. A nice, strong grip that both soothed and fired up my nerves.

 

I looked up at her, swallowing my jittery heart down my throat. Somehow those eyes behind that mask give me the courage to push away my insecurities.

 

I am not the best dancer in the world, but my two roommates did show me the basics, and I can easily follow the gorgeous stranger on the steady EDM tunes. As the songs transition, I feel her slowly come closer to me. Her fingers skirt along my skin as she moves.

 

The music helps me sink into the moment, the rise of tempo and the blast of volume help me forget my anxiety.  This dance floor, this woman (this achingly gorgeous woman)… being here and in her presence allows me, for the first time to solely concentrate on something else.

 

**_Want._ **

 

Touch me.

 

Please just touch me.

 

Come on!

 

What was she waiting for!? When we made eye contact I could see them glimmer with something indescribable but oh so tangible. The first few times I had to look away because her gaze was so intense and made my stomach spark with something that made me want to jump in elation and vomit.

 

I didn’t understand what was up with her. She was clearly confident, clearly had experience and clearly saw something she was interested in. She could clearly see that I wasn’t so confident, clearly didn’t have much experience---

 

Wait.

 

Is she… is she like me?! How she swayed, so close yet not close enough...Was she waiting for me? No, no, people don’t wait for me - I’m the one who waits; I’m nice, shy Kate Marsh who everyone thinks will never take initiative and---

 

Hold up.

 

How did I get here?

 

I asked the girl. Yeah. Me. Kate Marsh, the nice, shy, overly-polite girl who no one ever thinks will take initiative _took_ initiative and got this beautiful woman to dance with me.

 

I may be on the edge of freaking out and have no idea what to do, but tonight I’m not the girl who will sit back, passively and watch.

 

Tonight, I try.

 

Her fingertips flit and barely trace down my arm and like a match striking the combustion strip it ignites me to reach up and gently grasp her shoulders. Along to the music I gently tug at her to come to me, come closer.

 

She does.

 

Slowly I drag my hands further back along her shoulders up to her neck, pulling her in ever more.

 

I feel her hands grasp my waist and tug me back.

 

Finally.

Her body. Alive with heat and sweat presses against me. My hands slide from her neck to her upper back. Those muscles tremble underneath the soft skin and I feel those fingers on me tighten. To feel just a hint of what lay beneath her clothes made somewhere deep within me simmer with heat. That same strong grip reassuring that despite the slightly awkward stance, I wasn’t going to fall. Soon, we fit flush together and sway to the beat, now connected.

 

Oh, Finally.

Those hands slid up my back and held me against her and I hung on around her neck. I breathed into her neck and the smell of the perfume dazed me even further. This woman, whoever she was, had good taste.

I feel her breasts against my chest, her leg in between my thighs and it makes me weak and yet invigorates me so to keep up with movement. To stay connected to her.

I manage to summon the will to unlatch myself just a bit to look her in the face. Those green eyes sizzled with that same indescribable --- no, I now know what it is.

 

It was _desire._

Our noses brush against one another and for a split second I believed she was going in for a kiss and I close my eyes. Unfortunately I feel nothing on my mouth, instead, I feel her lips barely brushing against my cheek as she moves my hair off one side of my neck and presses butterfly kisses on the sensitive skin. I bite my lip because I have dreamed about this moment, I have fantasized what it would feel like…

Her lips trail up to my ear and I felt puffs of humid air as she said in my ear,

“Where have you been, mon bel ange?”

 

Of course, such a beautiful woman speaks perfect _French_.

I twist just so, able to speak into her ear as well, “not too far, apparently.”

As she straightens out to look at me, I place my hands back on her neck, clasping her jaw. I take a quick glance at her lips before I make eye contact with her. The bright neon lights flash across her face and illuminate those eyes again. Through her pupils I feel her _yearning_ and I know what I must do. For the first time in my life I listen purely to the desire within my blood and I pull her down to me and capture her lips in a kiss.

 

Oh, Thank God.

 

A part of me is shocked and a bit aghast. I don’t know this girl’s name or even what she looks like? But her lips are sweet, her scent mesmerizing and those green eyes feel familiar. I just know with her that I’m going to be O.K. I have no idea _why_ I would trust a perfect stranger...but for some reason I know I can with her.

 

Ok, maybe my judgement is impaired because I’ve had a few drinks and I’m more turned on right now than I have ever been in my entire life… but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

 

Because this is the first time a kiss feels so _right_.

 

My first kiss was with a boy, Vincent, from bible study in junior high. A simple quick peck on the lips. It grossed me out. I realize today why, but at that time, I thought it was because I was just not ready for this type of affection.

 

The second one was in highschool, just before I joined Blackwell. Eric was slightly older and attending the same church as me. He cornered me during volunteering at the food bank near Christmas, flirting with me and without notice nor invitation to do so, tried to shove his tongue down my throat. I kneed him in the family jewels and he just fell on the floor in fetal position, calling me names. After I told my family what happened, my father threatened to press charges for sexual assault (and to beat him up so hard he would need to eat with a straw for the rest of his life if he ever came close to me or my sisters again.). Apparently, I wasn’t the first one he did this too. He moved right after the winter break with some uncle, on a farm in Iowa. Good riddance.

 

My third experience, I only have bits and pieces of memories. It was the Vortex Club Party. I don’t want to remember it anyway. Because if I do, I’ll remember some of the dark room. And right now, I don’t want to remember that. Never again.

 

My fourth one was with Michael, a sweet boy. I went on one date with him during my first year in college. We kissed when he dropped me off back at the apartment. I felt so guilty for not feeling anything when this happened. That’s when Max and Chloe sat me down to talk about the fact that maybe I was gay.

 

And from how good the kiss I am sharing right now feels, they were absolutely right.

 

I’m a rainbow unicorn.

 

We don’t dance anymore. We just hold each other, making out in the middle of this crowd without a care. Lips caressing lips. Her mouth is sweet and I’m surprised at how...tender this girl is. Even though this relieves me a bit...I feel something primal rouse from the depths of me, as if waking from a long slumber. I want more. I _need_ more. I lean into her, deepening our kiss and I experiment with scratching my nails lightly down her back, insisting on her giving me her passion. When I feel a gentle shiver from her a thrill sparks deep within my abdomen. When she immediately deepens the kisses further and squeezes my hips against hers in want, that primal animal within me howls in pleasure. Hungrily I return her eagerness with a fervor all my own.

 

The hands of my stunning partner wander from my waist, to my hips, before one of them strays to my backside and gives a gentle squeeze. I moan softly at this new, tantalizing sensation and feel a tongue lightly poking my lips. I give her access and while I expect a messy, slimy muscle in my mouth (thanks Eric), instead she traces my lips with her tongue and takes my lower lip between her teeth and sucks. My entire body buzzes, intoxicated. My own tongue ventures out, tentatively touching her top lip. She releases my bottom lip and I feel her tongue snake up and entangle with my own.  I don’t hear the music anymore. I can’t feel the people around us. I can only feel, smell and hear this woman.

I follow my instinct, push my partner head slightly upward and press my lips against her throat. Remembering kissing advice that Chloe gave to me once a long time ago, I suck at the girl’s fragile skin, tasting her sweat. Salty, but delicious. Her hands move instantly, one pressing on my shoulder and the other against my head and I feel a low moan escape her.

 

That is the most thrilling experience in my short life.

 

Too soon she gently pushes my head away and pulls our faces together again. This time her tongue slips into my mouth and I suck her in. Her arms circle my waist, bringing me completely flush against her, bodies fitting perfectly together. I feel her hips lightly rock against mine and I shiver against her...

 

And our moment is ruined when the beat picks up and a drunken body collides into me, nearly knocking the both of us over. However another dancer bumped into us, pushing us back towards stability. Sometime during our kissing the surrounding area turned from a dancefloor into something closer to a moshpit.

 

The Cat-Lady keeps me close to her body, shielding me from the overly excited people jumping around, and brings me back to the main bar. There, she orders two bottles of water, and hands me one. We both drink, equally thirsty.

 

She finally put her empty bottle on the bar and lean towards me, her mouth brushing against my ear. “I need to go to the restroom. Wanna come?” she smirks at me, oozing sexuality and a touch of impishness. I could only give her a shy giggle as on one hand, I couldn’t believe the double-entendre she just said and on the other hand… I wanted to.  And as much as I am tempted to take upon the invitation, I know my friends are up there, watching my every movement, and waiting for the juicy details.

 

“I'll think I'll pass. Women restroom are always, like, super crowded. And I came with my friends, and kinda need to tell them I didn't run away back home.”

 

“You’re not trying to ditch me, are you?” She responds coolly, as if just an off-handed comment. But I can see a flash of hurt and insecurity in her mesmerizing green eyes.

 

“No, I would never do that. You’re the only one I want to spend my evening with.” I lean in, kissing her, soft and sure. Hopefully that will prove my sincerity.

 

As I pull back I see that her lips, for just a split second, have the cutest most pleased smile. A flash of childish happiness brightens her eyes before it disappears, replaced by the sultry confidence of before, “Alright. I’ll join you upstairs.” She kisses me one last time (oh, her lips are addictive) before she purrs, “And in exchange, you’ll join me in my bed tonight.” She winks and leaves for the bathroom, where I just watch her go, absolutely speechless.

 

***

 

I barely climbed the last step when an overly excited Chloe snatched me up, cackling as she dragged me back to our table. “Holy fucking shit, Marsh!” she cawed. She literally bounces up and down, like a little girl on her birthday.

 

“What was that, girl?! That was fucking hot! I mean, I thought for a second she would take your v-card on the dance floor.” I immediately put my hand on my friend’s mouth, feeling my face burning with embarrassment. The whole club and my sexy stranger do not need to know I’m still a virgin. I’m not abstinent anymore...but I haven’t met the right woman (until tonight!?!)

 

“Well, maybe if you don’t scare her off, I’ll be losing my v-card later tonight” I whisper to her. Chloe’s entire body ignited in sheer elation. Her long arms wrapped around me as she bear-hugged me,

 

“Oh my baby girl is all grown up” she tearfully crooned.

 

I tried to gently push her off because it’s already hard enough to breath in here without Chloe trying to unintentionally suffocate me, “Where’s Max?” I ask, changing the subject.

 

“Bathroom. Don’t change subject, bun bun! I know you have some catching up to do but no need to do it all in one night! That was hella crazy! I had to reassure Max not to jump in there and take you away from that girl. You know how worried she gets when you have a drink. Add a hot makeout session with a pretty stranger in the mix and she gets super anxious.”

 

A shot of guilt hits me in the stomach, “Is it that bad? It just felt so good, I couldn’t help it.” My doubts and unease crawling back up all at once. Did I just go back to the slut who set a tongue record on video? But this time, I was in full control of myself, so no excuses to act like this. I hear the hiss of ‘Viral Slut’ in my mind. Were they right? Is it me or the place is getting smaller and smaller?

 

Chloe’s warm hand on my shoulder forces me to concentrate on her, “What? No! No! You totally have the right to do so, and no one will judge you! I promise. Kate, you are an adult and so is that girl, well, I’m pretty sure she’s not jail bait, anyways. You both are consensual adults who made out on a dance floor. Hundreds of thousands of people do that every week across the world. You are not a bad person because you enjoyed kissing a girl in a club.” Chloe grabs me by the arm and anchors me back to the reality, forcing me to look into her eyes and help me get my breath back under control. “Better?”

 

“Thanks, Chloe” I tell her sincerely, squeezing her shoulder with affection, “I mean...should I keep, uh, dancing with her?”

 

“If by dancing you mean making out with her face! Hell yeah, Kate! Have fun, be safe and don’t worry, we’re not leaving without you tonight. So no strange ladies can drag you back to their lair.” Chloe punctuated before putting her beer bottle (how many was it now?) to her lips.

 

A little bit of indignance ignited within my heart and that locked away rebelliousness reared it’s head as I heard myself say, “...what if I bring her back to mine?”

 

That beer abruptly sprayed back out from in between Chloe’s lips before she began choking. I patted her back as she let out a loud roaring laugh. “Jesus, Kate! What kind of shot did the barman gave you? You’re on fire tonight!”!”

 

Before I can reply anything, I feel an arm snake around my waist and a body presses on my back. A familiar sweet perfume fills my nostrils. “Miss me, mon ange?”

 

“A little…” I can feel the blush crawl on my neck and face as Chloe looks at us with a big grin. Thank God my face is covered. I see my friend peer up at my beautiful stranger, trying to ascertain if she knew her.

 

“Nice pants! Where did you get them?” Chloe said, starting a conversation before I could get pulled away.

 

“New York. Valentino’s 2016 fall line.” my dance partner answers, nonchalantly. I feel my eyes widen a bit. So she was wealthy, too? Who on earth _was_ this girl? My roommate grimaces when she hears the answer.

 

“For that kind of money I might as well just get a rifle, kill a cow and make the pants myself.” The blonde laughs, amused. To hear a unbridled, sincere sound fills me with joy.

 

“I like your mask. Where did you buy it?” My new friend asks.

 

“Made them.” Chloe retorts, smug. There is absolutely no denial from _anyone_ that these masks are fantastic.

 

“...Shut up. No way, where did you get them?”

 

Chloe again smirks, raising both hands in the air, wiggling her fingers, “these bad girls right here. I made Simon’s and Gabrielle’s too.”

 

“Shut. Up. You made Gabrielle’s and Simon’s? Theirs look fabulous.”

 

I nod, coming to Chloe’s defense, “she made mine as well, “

 

The cat-lady looked from me, back to my room mate, before giving Chloe a nod, “alright. I’ll have to talk to you later...may need your skills for a few projects.”

 

Chloe nods and tells her to come back to her whenever she wants that information, but all I could pay attention was how I felt my beautiful stranger’s mouth press against my ear as she whispers to me “I was about to suggest we go back dancing but it looks like a safety hazard from up here. Seriously, it’s EDM not a punk show.” I can’t help but giggle at the comment. The blonde woman is right, people are jumping right and left, not really dancing but colliding with each other. Reminds me of the one time Chloe tried to take me into a mosh pit (nearly broke my collarbone). “Anyway, grab a drink with me?”

 

I nod, “alright.” I answer, unable to keep the smile off my face. Chloe whistles then points at us with her beer bottle,

 

“You two kids have fun and use protection”

 

A strangled laugh comes from my throat (why, Chloe? Why?) and my stranger just winks at Chloe, “oh, we will. I even have the strawberry flavored dental dams.”

 

Wait. Dental dams? Strawberry flavored? What were these contraptions? Should I already know this?  My stomach churned, nervous. I may have made out with someone on a dance floor...but I was still a virgin.

 

As soon as we stepped away I feel her fingers dancing along my waist and stomach and I feel her lips against my ear once again. “So, I just wanted to sneak you away from your friends” she confessed without a single trace of shame in her voice. “Let’s get out of here. I really want to take off your mask...and your clothes” She nips at my jawline and I swallow a whimper. Yes. Yes.

 

“Actually, I’d love to take you up on the drink? Chat a little?” I confess. I twirl around in her arms to look at her. Her lips have pursed, and I can see a touch of annoyance in those green orbs...but mostly I see a sincere curiosity. And I can’t help but lift up my hands and touch at her neck, “please?”

 

Whatever annoyance disappears from her eyes, “ok, let’s have a drink.” she surrenders. I can’t help but slide my hands down her back and give her very lovely rump a squeeze. Out of her throat came a most unexpected squeak of surprise.

 

It was **adorable.**

 

I laughed and she glared at me, “ _you…”_ she starts and I cut her off with a kiss. She melts into me and it feels wonderful.

 

She takes my hand and brings me toward the bar. The gentleman that serve me my cunni… my exotic concoction earlier is still there. He looks at my partner with a smirk and gives me a very discreet thumbs up. The blonde is looking at their drinks menu and so the bartender leans towards me to take my order.

 

“Virgin bloody caesar, please.” I decided to order a virgin cocktail, because two drinks (more like four with the amount of vodka the bartender put in the first one) and a shot is more than enough for me.

 

“You sure you don’t want another little shot to help you close the deal?” He asks me with a smirk. “I got a really nice one called ‘Absolute Leg Spreaders’ if you want.” He wiggles his eyebrows and nods toward my dance partner. I felt my entire body burn, embarrassed. Was it evident to everyone that I was maybe, probably, most likely definitely getting... laid tonight? Do all bars have such mortifying names for their shots?

 

“No, I’m fine with what I ordered.” I answer with the little dignity left in me.

 

“I’ll take a dirty martini.” A certain voice interjected. I jumped a little, not realizing that she was standing suddenly so close.

 

“Extra olives?” He asks her.

 

“Do you really need to ask?” Again, she has that swagger to her tone. Is it normal that someone’s voice can turn me on like this?

 

He smirks and prepare our drinks. Soon he places them right in front of us... along with two shots.

 

“There! A bloody caesar, a dirty martini and two ‘Absolute Leg Spreaders!’ Enjoy!”

 

I want to sink in the floor now as I see the wicked grins on both their faces. The shots are green and don’t look like they’re as complicated as the first one he gave me earlier. The blonde grabs both and offers me one with a smile. “Good taste, mystérieuse demoiselle!” And downs hers with an elegant motion.

 

I follow her and gulp down the liquid, surprised by the taste. The burn of vodka mixed with something sweet… watermelon? That’s a little bit weird but it’s reminds me of Jolly Ranchers. A tad too sweet for my taste. We grab our beverages and make our way to the small, free table.

 

Surprisingly, this little corner is quieter, cutting off the music a bit. At least we won’t have to yell our way through conversation. However, as soon as we get our drinks back, I realize, with embarrassment that I don’t know what I want to say to her.

 

After a beat of awkward silence she lets out a sneer, “So, what do you want to know? What’s my sign? What major am I? What’s my favorite color? What’s a pretty lady like me doing in a place like this?” she mocks. I twirl my straw in my drink, knowing that I had nothing smooth, nothing clever nor anything particularly interesting to say.

 

So I decide to be honest.

 

“I just want to know more about the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met.”

 

The smirk falls right off her face. For a moment her expression was blank; truly stunned.

 

Her eyes narrowed and the corner of her lips turned down, slightly. She responded low and deliberate “You haven’t taken the mask off yet.” I could sense the bitterness within her. For a second I wonder what she’s gone through to doubt herself. To doubt me. I wonder if she’s had a string of lovers that disappointed her. Had she been betrayed? Had she been lied to? Had she been used? Did she have problems trusting others because of what had happened to her before?

 

So I smile at her, internally forgiving her for her defensiveness. I reach over to take her hand, lifting it to my mouth, planting a kiss on the soft skin on the inside of her wrist, “I have faith.” I tell her, hoping that it’s enough for her to know that she’s safe with me.

 

Her lips part just so and I can see through her eyes something truly _vulnerable_ but it vanishes just as quickly. Her sly smile returns, this time confident and smug,

 

“Well, you have _excellent_ taste.”

 

As we speak, her hand finds its way to my knee and slowly moves upward and inward, thumb drawing circles on the bare skin. My whole body ignites at this simple contact, feeling only that slow movement, lightly massaging the flesh, and the heat radiating from her body. And while I try to make a decent, intelligent conversation, my brain can only think of one thing.

 

Higher.

 

Push your hand higher.

 

Please, _do it._

 

But the hand stops at mid-thigh, and stays painfully still. Just her thumb rubbing slow, soothing circles on my skin.

 

Oh, I know she’s toying with me.

 

And it’s working.

 

She _wants_ to torture me.

 

I can’t help but imagine her on my bed. Flat on her back on the covers. I can’t help but imagine what I could try to make her breathless and feel this delicious pain that I’m in now. I may have no practical experience but I have done my research (when I’m alone in my room, door locked and feeling super ashamed and embarrassed all the while) and I know every single thing I want to try with her.

 

And I’m a fast learner...especially when it’s a hands-on situation.  

 

However, I am genuinely enjoying the conversation. She carries herself with this bit of arrogance, although I suspect it’s part of her defensiveness (so I forgive her again), but she’s also hyper intelligent and artistic. She’s _interesting_. She’s studying business to take over her family’s business… they run art galleries! Some of the most famous in the world, apparently, but I know nothing about art galleries. However she considers herself a photographer first, fashion photography and portraits are her favorite.

 

Throughout this short time we found ourselves scooting closer and closer to one another. Like magnets, our bodies had to be close, had to be touching. And soon our words were constantly interrupted with kisses.

 

“I’m a Illustrator-- still studying---” I manage to say as she kisses, wet and hot down my neck. I close my eyes as I feel some scrap of teeth, “I also...take commissions for side cash”

 

She pulls away to look up at me, “good with your hands?” she grins something wicked, “ I have to see what they can do…”

 

Perhaps it comes with kissing beautiful women but I feel a flood of confidence flow through my blood that makes me tell her, “I’ll give you a live demonstration later.” that hand that still hasn’t left my thigh squeezes with anticipation. I hiss a little, but that touch of pain feels _electrifying._ “If you’re a good girl.” I add, a touch breathless, daring myself to give her a wink.

 

She chuckles, low, “you want the bad girl.” she insists as she ever so gently scratches my inner thigh. I know she’s goading me but nonetheless there’s a sharp flare of arousal within my lower abdomen.

 

“Behave and I’ll let you do your worst,” I blurt out. I swallow the saliva in my mouth, very self-conscious. I’m not use to such a… naughty kind of conversation.

 

Her pupils shrink, stunned, before they engorge with restrained lust, “Hmmm, I’m looking forward to it then.” She purrs, resuming her sweet torture on my neck. While she keeps her hand on my thigh, the other wanders along my body and lightly caresses my ribs. The motion sent a sharp sensation through my nerves and my body jerks away while I make a high-pitched cheep.

 

She pulls back a moment, “You’re ticklish?” she asks, sly smile on her face and mischievous spark in her eyes.

 

I replied, sheepishly, “No.” God, this lie is excusable because I’m trying to save myself--

 

Her hand shoots up my side again, her fingers dancing like the devil and I jerk away, squealing. She stopped abruptly. She stares at me a few seconds, expression unreadable, before bursting out laughing. “That’s the cutest reaction I’ve _ever_ seen.”  I want to be miffed at her but, again, the sound of her genuinely joyous only makes me swoon more.

 

Something out of my peripheral causes me to look over her shoulder,

 

Yup, that was a very drunk Chloe throwing her long limbs around Max, plastering her face with kisses. They must’ve gotten separated somehow. My guardian angel must be enjoying herself...huh, Max looks...serious? Max pulls Chloe in close and whispers into her ear. I see Chloe’s loose and carefree body suddenly tense up. However, my gorgeous stranger distracts me by kissing each one of my finger tips. I turn to her,

 

“You haven’t told me your name yet, I need to know what to say when I have you all to myself tonight…”

 

I smile, jittery sparks of anticipation igniting my body. I look around and see that many people have already taken off their masks, so I reach behind the small knot at the back of my head and start to pull on it, “my name is--- woah!” I yelp as I felt my body suddenly just get tugged off the stool. Chloe immediately barged in between the stranger and I.

 

As Max pulled me down the stairs, I hear Chloe shout at the girl something really hostile.

 

“What the fuck is your problem?” I hear my cat-mask girl shriek back… I felt a sharp chill within my spine that raised goosebumps on my skin. I’ve heard that voice before, I’m sure of it, but _where_? It feels too familiar to be someone I merely bumped into on campus.

 

“Max” I plead but her hand is tight around my wrist. For a moment, I plant my foot down and there’s a jerk as our movement stalled,

 

Max looked at me, her expression truly concerned, “I need you to trust me right now” Max promised. I looked into her worried eyes and nodded. She’s my guardian Angel, I trust her with my life. Right then I felt someone else grab my other hand, further stalling our escape.

 

“Hey! Wait, what is going on?” the stranger panted out, out-running Chloe down the stairs.

 

“Look, back off!” Max demanded. I whipped my head around, surprised that this girl literally ran after me.

 

It was the final move that caused my already loose mask to fall off onto the ground. I blinked as my face registered being bare again.

 

The cat-mask lady’s jaw dropped. I see a flash of emotions in her eyes. Pain, guilt, incomprehension, sadness... _familiarity._

 

“Kate.” she uttered.

 

She dropped my hand. I felt my body get yanked away as Max fled the club. Soon, I felt Chloe’s hands on my shoulders, shielding me from whatever.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked again, truly confused.

 

Max’s on her phone, getting an uber at the speed of light as Chloe told me, “we’ll tell you in the car.”

 

As we wait I feel my brain race, scrutinizing everything that happened that night. That cat-mask. Her hand holding ming. Her body against mine, moving to the music. The taste of both her lips and her skin. Her mouth exploring the flesh of my neck while her hand traced my thigh. Her joyous laughter. Her fingers along my side. Her sweet whispers in my ear…

 

Her entire being feeling so _familiar_ to me.

 

As we got into the car and the door slammed shut. I turned to Max and Chloe,

 

“How did she know my name?” I asked out loud, my lips still tingling….

 

Max and Chloe exchanged a somber look before they mutually decided to answer me.

 

All I can wonder is will I see her again?

 


	2. The Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drew244: There's been two little mistakes that slipped in the first chapter (which have been corrected). The story takes place THREE years after the game, not four. And Kate works in a pet shelter, not a pet store. Sorry about that.

**"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."** **\- William Blake**

 

A loud snoring in my ear brings me back to conscience. My eyelids, resistant to slumber, blearily blink. Where am I? I try to stretch but my body is...confined? I wiggle a bit and realize there’s a lot of sturdy warmth right up against me...My eyes widen and I’m finally able to take in my surroundings.

 

I’m on a bed...Sandwiched between--  _ two _ bodies --WHAT THE!!! A spike of sheer adrenaline kicks my heart into overdrive and I shoot up onto my arms, looking around madly.

 

Portrait of Jesus Christ, desk, photo collage of my friends and family, art supplies littered almost everywhere, another Cross on the wall...I’m in my room. 

 

On my bed.

 

Oh thank God.   

 

I shift to see who was using the muted lawnmower in my ear. Ah. Chloe. My eyes shift towards my front where I’m greeted with freckles on peach cheeks and shoulders; Max. I release a sigh as I fall back onto my pillow. How did I get here, why are the wonder twins in my bed and  _ why is my head hurting so much? _

 

Everything flashes light speed behind my corneas. 

 

Club. Party. Lights. EDM music. Bass shuddering my ribcage. Green and pink neon.  _ that really strong drink _ . The poor colorblind boy.  _ That jerk _ . Stacy and Alex...

 

The woman in the cat mask.

 

Her back. Her body dancing. Lips. Lips. Lips. Her  _ tongue. _ Her nails on my inner thigh. That voice in my ear… “join me in my bed tonight…”

 

My thoughts are interrupted by an index touching the tip of my nose and a small ‘boop’ coming from the body facing me. Max, the actual person who joined me in my bed, smiles sleepily at me as I playfully bat her hand away from my face. 

 

“Last night? How are you holding up?” she whispers at me. Those large blue eyes bled concern as I deflate into my mattress. She feel her fingers play a bit with my hair. Leave it to Max to be so adorable first thing in the morning, how could I ignore her now? 

 

“Meh… Barely slept, terrible headache, and I have an ogre snoring in my ears.” I whispered back. Max stifled a giggle but a rather abrupt, loud fluttered wheeze cuts her off. A loud, unbridled laugh shot from my dry throat and Max joins me. We both breaking into uproarious laughter, destroying the morning serenity. 

 

A rather loud, long groan erupts into the air, mixing with our laughter, “Jesus Christ you guys are loud,” Chloe growls. She takes a pillow and shoves it over her head, rolling over---

 

off the bed-- THUD-- “AW. FUCK!” 

 

Onto the floor. 

 

Both Max and I cracked up, yet again. Unfortunately the giggles made my brain scrub scratch against my skull. Max got up and hopped out of the bed, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, “ she announced as she got over to the shiftless blob that was Chloe, “is why we don’t sleep in Kate’s bed.”

 

“Kate, get a bigger bed.” Chloe moaned as Max managed to pull up her girlfriend. Who tried to stabilize on her legs… then fell back over onto my bed. My entire body did a slight hop as Chloe landed with all her weight back onto the mattress. 

 

“Maxippaaaad… what time is it?” 

 

Max took my phone and squinted, “... ten?”

 

“Only ten?” Chloe whined, “wake me up at three pm…when I stop feeling like the apocalypse is happening.” 

 

“Same here.” I grumbled. If I was feeling so bad now, I could only imagine how miserable Chloe was...why did people do this to themselves again?

 

_ “ _ _ Look, I have to ask out the most beautiful woman I have ever met to dance. I’ve never done this before and have no idea what I’m doing. Give me a shot of whatever you have…” _

 

Oh. Yeah. That’s why.

 

Max plopped back on the bed as well, on top of Chloe, “come on Chlo-bear. we got to give Kate her space…” 

 

“Kate’s space is our space.”

 

“Chloooeeee”

 

I finally get up and stretch, popping back all the articulations within my spine and back. “No, it’s ok...I really need to shower….and have two aspirins. At least two.” I mumbled out loud.   __

 

I get my clothes and walk out of my room, taking a turn right and get inside the room next door.

 

The bathroom is very simple. A sink, a toilet and a bathtub/shower, along with a closet containing both an old washer and dryer set that Max’s parents gave us when we moved in. (Like 90% of our furniture. All used, but in a very good shape, and all donated by family)

 

I start by taking those two aspirins(am very tempted to pop another in my mouth, but I resist), then I brush my teeth. I finally step in the warm shower and can’t help but sigh as the hot water hit my body, soothing my aching muscles. 

 

As I close my eyes, I think about last night….

 

After Chloe and Max told me that my paramore was actually  _ the  _ Victoria Chase, I was mute of any response. My mind went completely blank of anything, “really?” I asked through a throat that was trying to suffocate itself. Max nodded,

 

“I ran into Simon while you two were...um… ’talking’ at the bar and he told me who she was.” Max explained, shuffling awkward in her seat. 

 

“With how bitchy she was at me, that was totally Victoria.” Chloe quipped. Her scowl soured more severe, “should’ve punched her in the face.” However I could barely hear her as my ears rang louder and louder. 

 

Max’s voice echoed within my mind, “Kate? Kate?” but I simply leaned my head against the window and stared at how the lights trailed from right to left in the dark. At that moment, my body and mind were drunk off several different things. My adrenaline had been coursing through my body as I chased the pleasures of the night with a speed and a urgency of which I had never experienced before. Now, in that car, quiet and unmoving I just felt exhausted. 

 

Which, understandably led to Chloe and Max not wanting to leave me alone and climbing into bed with me last night. 

 

Underneath the rain of warmth I realise now that many things gave her away. The attitude; both overly confident and clearly insecure. The career path: photographer who will inherit her family art gallery empire. The deep green eyes, so expressive, just like back then.

 

_ However, rather than expressing an unprecedented sadism of her youth, they had expressed a sincere desire... _

 

She might have been wearing a mask, but looking back now, it was quite evident that she was my previous tormentor.

 

I felt myself sigh loud and long against the spray of water. Of course, right when I decide to act upon my homosexual inclinations the Lord sends me my perfect date in the vessel of  _ Victoria Chase. _

 

Yes, God. I hear you laughing. 

 

Part of me finds this hysterically funny and another part of me kind of wants to cry. 

 

I have to admit though, she’s a good kisser. A  _ really _ good kisser.

 

And I’m never going to have that amazing lip action again…

 

I physically scrub at my body, as if I could scrub away the stupid physical want. Stupid hormones. ~~Rub a dub dub go away go away go away~~

 

Oh my Gosh! I wanted to lose my virginity to her!  Like, I was pretty consensual about taking her back to this bedroom and getting naked with her and ‘go oyster diving’ as Chloe told me.

 

Ok. This is such a  _ fucked up _ situation. 

 

I don’t like swearing, but, God, forgive me but there is simply no other way to put this. 

 

A sudden knock on the door, muffled by the sound of the shower, pulls me out of my reveries. I step out and tell my roommate, whoever which one it is, to wait a minute, before I quickly dry off and get dress.

 

I open to a brightly smiling Max. “Chloe’s hungry. She wants to go to the Eggcletic Cafe to get a big ass kick ass breakfast.”

 

I chuckle a little, “Is there a moment when Chloe is not hungry?” For someone who is basically skin and bones, Chloe is actually a darn glutton.

 

“Nope” Max replies candidly.

 

***

Eggcletic Cafe is a nice, little restaurant mid-way between our apartment and the campus. It can sit about fifty people inside and has a very nice, varied menu from the traditional bacon and egg to vegan options. It’s also both Max and Chloe favorite spot, probably more for the punny name than the actual food.

 

At our little square table, we all peruse the menu trying to figure out what to eat on that not so wonderful saturday morning. Chloe nurses her cup of coffee like her life depends on it while Max drinks a freshly pressed orange juice and I savor the nice cup of English breakfast tea. A cute noise dings and Max checks her phone. Her face scrunches up, as if confused. I’m about to ask her about it when I’m interrupted by Chloe, 

 

“So, what are you guys getting? I’m going with the ‘Big Worker’. It looks delicious.” It’s funny how Chloe went from ‘Arg, I’m dying’ to ‘Borderline Hyperactive’ in less than two hours. The miracle a shower can do.

 

That, two gallons of water, four aspirins and a joint too.

 

I scan the menu and balk as I read the ‘Big Worker’ description. Bacon, sausages, ham, baked beans, pancakes, fruit salad, three eggs and toasts. There’s enough food on that plate for the three of us. Where in the world is she putting all that?

 

Max lifts her head up from her phone and looks at me quite pointedly, “Any  _ eggcellent  _ items catching your attention?” she asks me, too casually. I blink at her, a bit confused...

 

“Maybe something a little bit  _ eggciting _ ?” Chloe adds, an eyebrow arched in amusement. Oh no… the puns! I should have seen it coming. 

 

Max nods at me, sage-like, “Remember, Katie, you’ll need some  _ eggs-ercises _ after eating.” I bite my lip, trying to withhold any emotion and not give these two the satisfaction of a reaction. These two dorks. I love them. They know that last night was rough on me and are trying to cheer me up with their lame jokes.

 

“This menu is so thick, it’s almost like an  _ hen-cyclopedia _ .” Oh goodness, Max, this is so bad.

 

Chloe leans toward her girlfriend, a huge grin plastered on her face. “You’re the hottest  _ chick _ I’ve ever seen, and that’s no  _ eggs-aggeration _ .” 

 

I just lose it. I burst out laughing while my two roommates have that smug satisfied smirk on their faces. Pun Queens, represent. 

 

I finally calm down a little, wiping my eyes for the small tears that formed, “I chose something but I forgot because of you two dorks!” I scan the menu again, quickly spotting my choice again and we order. 

 

It doesn’t take long before we all have our plates in front of us. Chloe sticking with her weapon of massive indigestion. Max kept to traditional eggs, bacon and potatoes while I went with a simple spinach omelette.

 

“Excuse me, may I have some mustard please.” Max ask the young waitress with a smile while both Chloe and I grimace. Beside my father, Max must be the only person who eats hashbrowns with mustard.

 

Chloe after shovelling several forks full of eggs into her mouth, immediately spouted, “look, I know the other night was a bit of a bust, but girl you were so badass! Be proud of yourself and just,” she mimed dusting off her shoulder, “Forget about it! You live, learn and kiss more hotties” with lips covered in egg and processed meats, she flashed that terrific Chloe grin.I felt my heart swell with gratitude. She always had put in the full amount of effort to comfort me whenever something bad had happened. I had to admire Chloe for never shying away from the elephant in the room. Even if the elephant was gargantuan ‘almost having sex with Victoria Chase’ in size. 

 

“Even before this all went down, I know a few girls who are  _ really _ interested in meeting you.” Chloe continued, mouth full as usual “Like really pretty, sane and  nice gay gals who think you are drop dead gorgeous and begged me to introduce you to them.”

 

I felt my face blush in disbelief. Wow, women who are into me! Really? I mean, I’m pretty average. Wait...how do they know what I look like if I never met them?

 

“Chloe, how …” I start to ask.

 

Chloe cuts me off, “I got like a thousand pictures of you and Sexy Max on my phone. I just talk about my hot single lesbian roommate, the girls get curious and BAM! I show your picture and they all fall for your charm.” She cackled as I blush at the thought of pretty, sexy women wanting me.

 

“I think I’ll wait a little. Just… it’s really complicated.” As much as I want, and I mean really  _ want _ to follow Chloe’s advice, I just can’t. My mind, even hungover and sleep deprived races through everything that happened that night and what happened years ago. 

 

I think about how it was evident that she was suffering back in Blackwell. I see and feel her scathing words towards me. I remember the anguish she exacerbated within me.... I remember her burning glares and stares at me. I remember the roof...

 

“Best way to get over someone is under someone---”

 

Max jumped in, “we understand, Kate.” Reassures Max. “You’re still shocked and…” my brain tunes out as a memory comes into clear and vivid color behind my eyes. 

 

_ A piece of thick paper; expensive stationary, within my hands. The harsh shine of hospital fluorescent illuminates the words,  _

 

_ ‘ _ _ Kate, _

_ I know you hate me and you should but I only want to see your smile again. _

_ Please let me know if you need anything.’ _

_ X.O. _

_ Vic. _

 

The epiphany makes my eyelids open wide,“I need to talk to her.” I say out loud. 

 

there’s a sharp, light clang as either Max or Chloe dropped their utensils. “What?” someone says.

 

I raise my head to look at my two dearest friends, “She and I need to resolve this.” I say with strength. The more I thought about the situation in the last twelve hours, the more it makes sense. That meeting was not bad luck. It’s a chance. An opportunity. It’s the Lord giving us the occasion to do what the storm prevented us to do back then. “I want to meet with Victoria.”

 

Max, her skin now pale, gulps. 

 

Chloe smacks the table, “Yeah! Finally give her the good punch she always deserved!” Chloe adds with a roaring laugh.

 

I interrupt her, feeling more and more determined, “No, to talk. She wrote me a note back then. Saying some nice things and expressing remorse. There was a clear invitation for me to confront her. I think if it wasn’t for the storm, maybe we could have resolved whatever happened between us.”

 

Chloe’s entire body tenses the more I explain myself. Max shuffles in her chair awkwardly. Her phone DINGS again and she looks down, reading whatever text it is. 

 

Chloe pointed her fork at me, “Are you crazy? She’s the same evil bitch! So she said some nice things- it’s all bullshit! People like her don’t fucking change, Kate. They remain bullies their whole lives. She’s a sadist and I don’t want you to suffer again” Chloe’s voice had grown louder and louder as she got more and more excited. As people turned around and stared, Max squeezed her girlfriend’s forearm and stepped in, 

 

“Are you really sure you want to do this? To meet Victoria and chat with her?”

 

“Yes. I am  **_certain_ ** .” I stressed

 

“Fuck no, that cunt has done enough damage, Kate owes her nothing.” Chloe protested, 

 

I felt a righteous anger flare within me. I had come a long way from that girl who stepped on that roof. I am a adult with the strength to protect myself and I could make my own decisions!   “You’re right, I owe her nothing but I owe this to  _ myself _ . I want to bury the hatchet and move on, completely. The only way I can do that is if I talk to her in person. She has hurt me before but  _ I will make sure _ _ she never does so again. _ ”

 

A sharp, heavy silence fell around all of us. Chloe glared out the window, not looking at any of us. She didn’t even lift a morsel of food to her mouth to chew on the thought. Max’s head swiveled from Chloe, back to me, anxious. 

 

Finally, Chloe threw her fork down against her plate with a CLANG,

 

“I need a smoke.” 

 

She got up, picked up her jacket and threw a twenty dollar bill on the table. “I’ll see you guys back home.” She promptly exited. Her mega breakfast left half eaten and coldly dejected.

 

As soon as we heard Chloe slam the door, Max exhaled a breath. The tension dying down significantly within the room. 

 

My guardian angel reached across the table and took my hand, “Well, if that’s what you want then I’m here to help. Chloe is too, just give her a couple hours.” Max stated. Well that sure lifted the weight out of my spine. If Max was on my side, then I could do anything, 

 

“I’m going to meet her and put this behind me once and for all.” I state, feeling pretty confident in myself. Max chuckles a little.

 

“Okay, well how were you planning to do this?” before I even answer, her head dips down. I see her texting someone. 

 

“Well, you said she knew Simon. So, maybe ask him for her number or something.” It’s a lame plan but hey, not like I have many options.

 

“Yeah, good idea.” Max mumbled. I feel my confidence wane a little as she’s clearly not paying too much attention. Was the plan that bad? Who was she texting? It’s probably Chloe. I just hope I didn’t cause a couple’s quarrel because of this.

 

“Can I ask you a little favor?” Max asks me, a bit hesitant. 

 

“Of course!” 

 

“I know it’s my turn but with Chloe, I will probably be busy patching thing up and get that you know what you’re doing into her thick skull. Could you go do the groceries this afternoon? At 2:00…” She looks at her phone again. “Er, 2:30”

 

“No problem,” I answer. We all do our chores equally, so--

 

“Wait, no, no, don’t go then…” Max corrected,  “go at like 3:00? Yeah. 3pm. That’s...hum… That’s when it’s less busy!” 

 

O.k...that’s not weird at all. But I know that this probably has something with Max and Chloe needing a little alone time to sort this out. So I simply shrug and let it slide.

 

“Yeah sure.”

  
  


***

 

Curse you Max! Three in the afternoon is the busiest time! It’s super crowded, mostly family with turbulent children and broke college students who are after the latest sale. Also there’s not one, but several extreme coupon mama’s out too! Luckily, our habits to do weekly shopping trip and buy in bulk make the list very short so I won’t have to spend a lot of time here. After less than fifteen minutes, there’s only one item left on the list.

 

I turn the corner, lost in thought and browse through the aisle...Hmmm Dijon mustard. Dijon...Dijon-- Aha! I reach forward and am ripped out of my autopilot mode when another hand bumps into mine, attempting to take the same jar. I look up,

 

“Sorry--” I blurt out automatically,

 

“It’s fine--” the other person responded automatically,

 

Both of us simultaneously looked at one another. It was a girl around my age, tall, undeniably attractive. Her green eyes glimmered, inquisitive at me. 

 

A long second. Both of us silently realizing that there was something quite off about this encounter...

 

I felt my own eyes bulge as everything loudly and abruptly clicked together in my mind

 

“Victoria.” I uttered. 

 

Victoria did an actual double-take. Those same green eyes that had entranced me widened and she dropped her shopping basket.

 

It clanged on the ground and we both simultaneously flinched. 

 

Sirens blared in every cell of my body. I know I  thought Victoria was freaking hot that night at the club, well news Flash ladies and gentlemen, Victoria Chase was  _ just as hot _ if not  _ hotter _ in the daylight. 

 

Part of me wanted to slap my own forehead in shame. How could I  _ not _ know it was Victoria? Everything about her; her on-point style, her thin languid body, her impeccably done (short) nails, those nice shoulders, her sharp facial features, pointed nose, her lips and those eyes….it all screamed  **VICTORIA CHASE** . 

 

Um. 

 

We stared at each other. I noticed how her neck flushed rouge, no doubt matching my face. 

 

Simultaneously we both ducked down to grab the shopping basket

 

“Let me--”

 

She raised her hand, stopping me from coming in, “I got it.” she answered, curt. I winced. How did I not even recognize the  _ voice? _

 

“ _ so nice of you to set a tongue record on video…” _

 

I had thought I’d never forget that...how surprising that I’ve forgotten that for at least a year. As I stood up I was assailed by yet  _ another _ tall, pretty blonde--- “Hi! Kate Marsh? It’s been awhile, Taylor Christensen, remember?”

 

Uhm. “Taylor?” Aha. The  _ other _ girl in the bathroom. My lucky day. At least this one apologized in person for her behavior before she left Arcadia Bay. Well, the apocalyptic storm is a good excuse for leaving without a word, I guess. 

 

“Oh, you  _ do _ remember,” Taylor said, her tone grateful. I smiled politely back,  _ how could I forget? _ I wanted to reply back to her, “well right here is--- Hey!” 

 

Victoria was already down the aisle, walking away at the speed of light. Taylor quickly turned to me, “wait here” and she ran down the aisle and chased after Victoria. Both turned left, out of my sight. I heard their voices echo through the store. 

 

“Oh come on  _ Vicky _ \--”

 

“I’m going to Whole Foods and never returning!” ah. That shriek was only one of a kind.  

 

“ **_Vicky!_ ** ” Taylor protested in return. 

 

I shook it off and walked towards the cashier. I would have to meet Victoria later. 

 

***

 

It’s been a couple of days since my ‘meeting’ with Victoria at the grocery store. I’ve been thinking about it over and over again, analysing every single detail every chance I get to. Between classes and work, it only leave me little time, mostly at night before falling asleep. I also noticed that I’m drawing more and more cats with green eyes, even a cat mask during class this afternoon. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed but… I’m really distracted by her.

 

_ Our bodies pressed together on the dance floor, swaying to the music. Her hand sliding down my back over my rear, giving it a squeeze... _

 

Really distracted.

 

(Stupid hormones.)

 

The good news is that Chloe’s calmed down. It took her a full two days to relax and accept that I was going to meet her. A lot of Super Max cuddles and flawless logic helped the process. She’s still thinking it’s a bad idea but she won’t interfere with it. For now, at least. “I swear if she pulls any bullshit I’m going to punch her lights out” she promised me. I’m pretty sure that it won’t come to that but I appreciate her sentiment. 

 

Calling Simon was a complete failure, he’s out of town for two weeks, already having business meetings and stuff like that. And unreachable unless you’re a partner or a bank. Natural born entrepreneur I guess.

 

I work at the shelter today and even though I’m surrounded by mostly animals it’s always a full-day’s job. With all our dogs and cats we have to wash, clean, walk as well as maintain the space... it can be a bit grueling. It’s Thursday evening, so thankfully we don’t expect a lot of people. We’re constantly short-staffed so there’s only two of us. Me and Sydney, my supervisor, a very gentle thirty something woman with a heart of gold.

 

“Kate, I just received a call. A couple want to adopt a cat. Could you just prepare everything? They’re not sure which one they want. They went on the website and like them all.” She whispers to me, like she’s afraid to wake up our little furballs.

 

“They want to see which will fit best?” I ask her.

 

“Exactly. Judging their personality and stuff like that.” This is not unusual. It happens more with dogs, especially when children are involved. Besides, most people want to see which animal they connect with the most before adopting. 

 

As I check each of them, verifying they’re clean and everything, I hear the door chimes as people come in. My supervisor immediately welcome them. As they speak my ears tingle… they all sound familiar. I turn around and see who are the “couple”, which is actually a trio standing before me.

 

Taylor Christensen holding the hand of the still very fashionable Courtney Wagner, and Victoria standing behind them, staring at me in surprise.

 

“Oh. My. God. Is that you, Kate?” Courtney gasped. I, too, was surprised. I didn’t get to see Courtney after the storm, but she did reach out to me several months after, apologizing for partaking in the witch-hunt that was my October. We had a phone call after that, clearing the air between us. But it had been years since then, “Holy shit, I didn’t believe Tay when she told me she had met you this weekend but there you are! It’s so good to see you!” The dark haired woman strides towards me before pulling me in a bear crushing hug that easily rivals with Chloe’s. “You look absolutely beautiful! Love the loose hair! It’s stunning! And that outfit is adorable!” The ‘outfit’ is a simple pair of skinny jeans with the shelter official short sleeves blue polo.

 

“Told you so, sweetie!” Taylor smiles at Courtney. “Sorry about last time. Someone was in a hurry” The tall blonde turns around and glares at Victoria behind her, who just scoffs and looks up to ceiling, lifting her nose at Taylor. 

 

“Can’t you guys hurry up? I have other stuff to do than watch you two adopt a fucking cat.” Victoria complained. 

 

“Yeah, like, we want a cat! It’s my birthday gift!” Courtney jumps up and down, giddy. 

 

“I thought the whole ‘getting engaged’ was your birthday gift?” Victoria interjects, genuinely surprised.

 

Wait, she’s engaged? To whom? 

 

“Nah, that was MY birthday gift. From me to both of us.” Taylor smirked, kissing her fiancee on the lips.

 

My brain skidded to a abrupt stop, smacking into my cranium as the realization hit me:  _ Taylor and Courtney were both gay too? _ Just how many of us Blackwell 2013 Alumni are gay? With my two friends and myself, the trio before me, Dana and Stella(being bisexuals), that’s eight of us who are not straight. Also there were other out gay girls (though I didn’t really know them) at the school too. What the heck was in the dorm water?

 

Well, at least Taylor and Courtney were adorable. I wondered how those two got together. “well, if the beautiful couple can follow me,” I began as I led them to the room where we kept the cats. Courtney immediately went up to the cage door, ogling the cats. Taylor kept close to Victoria and I, 

 

“So, Kate, how’s it going? What are you majoring in?” Taylor began, breaking the ice amicably. I opened my mouth to give the standard answer--

 

“She’s a visual arts major, concentrating in illustration and minoring in creative writing. She also does commissions. Mostly of fanart of Steven Universe and other Cartoon Network shows, but it gives her good side cash.” Victoria interjected coolly. I choked and swallowed my own words. I fought against the urge to gawk at her; she remembered???  I didn’t even remember what I had told her. 

 

_ Her lips on my neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. I just shuddered out noises… _

 

Ahem. Back to the present, Kate, please. I tell myself. 

 

“Oh my God, what about this one, Tay tay, it has  _ three legs!!!”  _ Courtney squealed as she picked it up and twirled around with it. Taylor jumped back to her girlfriend, 

 

“Courtney, put it down, you’re scaring it!”

 

“He loves me! and I love him!”

 

“It’s a she, actually” Kate called out, in good nature. As the two girls played and petted with the three-legged cat, Victoria and I were left to our own devices. Quietly, I gathered up my bravery and asked her, “how is your photography project going? That one you told me about…”

 

_ Her hand had crept higher and higher up my inner thigh, stalling at a most cruel position. I was acutely aware of her thumb rubbing my skin as she told me, “my friends own a  and I’m going to shoot some of the fashion photo’s soon.” _

 

_ “That’s exciting” I murmured, hiding the agony within my loins. _

 

_ those wicked green eyes peer into my soul, “It’ll be fun” she replies, her voice low.  _

 

“oh, that. Well, the producer is lining everything up and scheduling everything in. I have a couple of meetings next week with my friends to discuss what they want and how I can…”

 

Whatever Victoria says tunes out as something else comes over me. Despite the surrounding smells of disinfectant, wet fur and animal excrement I could still feel how  _ good _ Victoria smelled. That same perfume from the other night…

 

“Kate.” Victoria stated, repeating herself. I shook my head, a bit embarrassed at my own inappropriate distraction,

 

“Sorry, what?” 

 

“Oh my G-AH-W-D THIS ONE IS BLIND!!! IT’S SO CUTE” Courtney squealed on top of her lungs as she picked up yet  _ another _ cat while still holding the one with three legs. Taylor, again, swerved around and leaped towards her too-eager girlfriend,

 

“Babe, please!” 

 

“Be careful, they can get quite cranky” I called out again, warning the other girl. However I couldn’t fight away the smile on my face if I tried. Who knew that Courtney Wagner was actually one of the most adorable people I’ve ever seen?

 

“WE’RE TAKING THEM ALL, TAY TAY!” Courtney cackled loudly. 

 

“Baby, we can’t take 7 cats---”

 

“I LOVE THEM ALL!”

 

“ I recommend starting with one or two. You don’t want to become the crazy cat ladies in one day.” I wink at them and hear a small chuckle beside me. Victoria has a small smirk, still looking everywhere but at me.

 

“Yeah, they’re both crazy already so that won’t change much.” Victoria snorts a little. “Who the hell gets all lovey-dovey in the middle of the apocalypse?” I look at her puzzled. What is she talking about?

 

“Hey! I resent that!” Taylor shout. “We are crazy in love, that’s different!”

 

Victoria waved them off, continuing, “Like, they were making out while the rest of us were freaking out.” I felt my eyes widen, wait -- what? why were they kissing?

 

“Duh! We thought the world was ending!” Adds Courtney, still cuddling both cats. Oh, the storm! That’s what they’re talking about. Well, I thought the world was ending too. Except instead of kissing someone, I helped the hospital staff with getting those too sick or injured to move down into the basements. Well, if I had someone to kiss, that would’ve been nice. My eyes involuntarily flick up to Victoria, only to unexpectedly make eye contact with her. We both looked away.

Taylor wrapped an arm around Courtney’s waist as she narrated, “in the Blackwell auditorium, everyone kept saying we were going to die and I was holding her, crying because I didn’t want to die and  _ this one _ kissed me…” Courtney looked up at Taylor, her eyes glittering with amour,

 

“I had been crushing on you for so long and I thought if I was going to die, I would at least get a kiss and confess my feelings…” 

 

“That’s when they started swapping saliva and sucking tongue” Victoria said under her breath at me, I couldn’t stifle the giggle that came out of my throat.

 

“Oh Hell yeah there was tongue” Taylor whistled. 

 

“Of course,” Courtney agreed, “the world was ending, remember?” simultaneously we all busted out laughing. 

 

Courtney and Taylor ended up adopting the three-legged cat and the blind one. Courtney was so grateful and excited that she gave me her phone number, instagram and twitter account telling me if I needed anything,  _ anything _ at all or wanted to hang out or wanted to hang with the cats, then I had full permission to reach out to her. Before they all stepped out, I wished them goodbye. Victoria stood in the doorway for a split second, peering at me with those green eyes.

 

“I’ll see you around?” I ask her, friendly.

 

She exited without answering.  My heart sank. 

  
  
  
  
  


***

 

My lungs are burning and I’m covered in sweat. I usually workout in the morning at the campus gym, but I’ve been wanting to try the tae bo class since a few weeks now, so I’m here on a friday evening. Honestly, this is going the be the first and  _ last _ one I ever take. That lesson was **intense** .

 

I tried to convince Max to come over since she had her evening off but she politely declined, like every time I tried to drag her to the gym. Chloe is usually more eager to tag along but she works tonight so here I am, alone in the overcrowded gym. 

 

I walk across the whole room to join the women’s locker room. As I pass the cardio section, I hear a loud gasp followed by a loud thud, shrieking and then laughter. A long stride of colorful swearing erupts in echo of the laugh filling the room. I turn around and feel my heart stop.

 

_ Victoria Chase _

 

Again.

 

She’s slowly getting up, using a treadmill machine to climb up to standing. The laugh comes from someone on a stationary bike. A tall blonde with a phone in hand, she narrates as though a host of a tv show, “and that is how the mighty falls, not by drones or bullets but by treadmills and--”

 

“Shut up Taylor!”

 

I’m so surprised and concerned that I force my sore legs to jog towards the injured photographer. “Are you okay? What happened?”

 

“Yeah, just twisted my ankle. I’ll be fine.” Victoria avoids looking at me, but I see her neck and face is flushed red...

 

“She fell off the treadmill” Taylor cackled. 

 

“Stop laughing, asshole” Victoria hisses, shooting a glare at Taylor, who just laughs even harder.

 

“There’s a sitting bench over there, let me help…” As I reach to help her Victoria jerks away, grimacing from the pain.

 

“I’m  _ fine _ , Kate.” She limps, painfully, to the bench. I bit my lip, concerned. Her left ankle was swelling and the redness flushed to a painful purple. 

 

And apparently, even when it hurt to move, Victoria can’t even stand being close to me. Ouch. 

 

“I’ll go see if I can get you ice.” Before I can even take a step, one of the employees is there with the first aid kit and tending her injury.

 

The entire time the gym attendant helped her, Victoria squawked loudly, “Seriously Taylor? I could’ve broken my neck-- ah! that’s cold--  my neck , Taylor!  And you just stand there, recording that and laughing your ass off. What were you doing? -- what are you doing, that  _ hurts  _ \--” I watched, both in awe and in a tiny terror as Victoria switched seamlessly from griping at her friend to griping at the gym attendant, then back to Taylor, then back to the gym attendant, back and forth back and forth...

 

“--Snapchatting my pain? ‘Oh look, this is where Tori became a quadriplegic because she broke her neck and rather than  _ helping ’  _ \-- and  you’re no help at all, my blood circulation just stopped, do it again-- and  _ you _ just livestreamed it for shits and giggles. You’re not a BFF - Ouch! For fuck’s sake, can’t you bandage it without breaking it?--you’re a FBB- ‘Fucking. Basic. Bitch’ --  _ and are you done yet? _ ” 

 

I had to admire Victoria’s tenacity for complaining. It didn’t matter how many people there were or what was happening to her. Nothing could and would stop her. Also, how even when complaining and being a brat, she was still kind of hilarious. 

 

Taylor, self-amused smirk on her face, brushed off Victoria’s spittle, “Bitch, remember when we partied in Montreal last winter and I slipped on ice and practically broke my tailbone? You just laughed and told everyone that walked by that I had ‘ _broken my ass._ ’ And in French.” 

 

“I didn’t say broke your ass, I said ‘que tu t’étais casser la gueule’, imbécile!”

 

“It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

 

“UGH! Whatever!”

 

“Karma sucks, darling” Taylor blew a kiss to Victoria who just grumbled under her breath. 

 

“Well, then, I’m just going to take a shower...feel better Victoria, I’ll see you two later” I say as I politely make my exit. Taylor’s eyes immediately brighten in mischief, 

 

“Oh, wait, Victoria needs to shower too, you can help her wash up---OW!” Taylor squealed as Victoria’s hand shot out and pinched at Taylor’s lowerback. Victoria’s face had turned bright tomato. As much as it was still incredibly awkward between us, I had to admit, Victoria was adorable when flustered. 

 

Even though I didn’t fall off a treadmill, I felt my heart ache. Trying to get any alone time with Victoria to talk to her seemed impossible. As feisty as she claimed to be, that girl could run away just as good as the rest of them. As I tried to wash off the uncomfortable feelings of defeat within the shower, it hit me. “I know where to go” I admit under the spray of water. 

 

***

 

I hate the bus. No matter which city, no matter which line, I hate it. It’s crowded, there’s a mix of weird smells, and always someone creepy staring at me. If there is something I can’t stand it’s public transportation. But hey, we’re downtown and parking is nearly impossible. That, and the only vehicle we have is Chloe’s old truck and that thing is probably more of an hazard than anything. I think Max and I need to reconsider the “buying another car together” plan.

 

I finally get off, and walk with a determined pace toward my goal. It’s been two weeks of running after Victoria. Two weeks of running into her too. Every time, she escaped, either by her attitude or literally running away. But today that stops. 

 

Before, I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten the photography shoot she had. I didn’t have the exact details, but my meeting with Courtney at the shelter gave me a great ally. Not only did I have the exact moment and location, I will also have access since the brunette is working there as a makeup artist for the day.

 

The building is a typical grey commercial one. Cold and stern looking. I quickly get my phone and send a quick text to my inside contact.

 

_ Downstairs. Waiting 4 U. _

 

I get inside the building and it’s just as cold as the outside. A security guard/reception desk and two elevators. That’s all.

 

And the man sitting behind the desk eyes me, suspicious, until the elevator chimes and a energic Courtney emerge from it.

 

“Katie! Nice to see you! Sorry about all that. The security is tight around here.” She hugs me before leading me to the desk where we get a guest pass for me.

 

“No worries. Why here? It’s not a studio.” I ask her, genuinely curious as to why they are holding a photoshoot in such place.

 

“There’s actually a small studio on the fourth floor. Some Chase’s family friend or something lends it to us for today.” We climb into the elevator. “It’s not a high fashion thing per say. Just a small boutique hiring us for their new upcoming winter line. But hey, it’s work experience to put on the resume.”

 

“Cool.” That’s all I can add. I feel so nervous right now. This will be a direct confrontation, not a random encounter like before. Even if I cannot shake off the feeling that these were not so random. I spent three years on campus without ever meeting Victoria and Taylor (Courtney is attending Cornish) and now I meet with them three times in two weeks, in places I hang out since I started attending college. That’s a lot of coincidences. This is a literal case of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. 

 

We get off on the fourth floor and walk through the maze of hallways before coming in front of a thick metal door, as we enter, I can see why they choose this place. This is a fantastic space for a studio. Wide, open floor space, able to build whatever set needed. High ceilings for a blocked off white backdrop and white flooring. Much to my surprise, it’s a smaller group of people than I imagined. A couple people observe and check the laptop which the pictures pop up on, I guess those are either the brand creators or the producers or both. A guy follows mans all the wires and lenses and mans the light reader; he must be the photography assistant. There’s a woman who’s by a bunch of furniture and props - must be art production. There’s a man standing by a rack of clothes who ran on occasionally to fix the clothes on the model; wardrobe. The several beautiful, tall men and women were obviously models. Then there was another man fixing and adjusting the light - he must’ve been the other assistant. 

 

I finally spot the main reason why I am here. Victoria Chase is beautiful in an everyday situation, but when she’s doing photography, focused and passionate, she’s stunning.

 

She tied her blonde locks in a messy ponytail. Instead of her usual high-fashion outfits, she’s surprisingly casual; skinny jeans, a plain t-shirt and simple pair of tennis shoes. At first I’m not sure if it’s her because I had never seen Victoria Chase in a t-shirt in my life. 

 

I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying as she instructed the models a certain way, the photo-assistants running around, moving the lights, grabbing the bounce and repositioning it. She took a quick shot, then got on her knees, shooting up at the model. 

 

I regret not taking my art supplies with me. This would make a great drawing.A great series of gesture and pose studies… how she was moving and how she was so expressive with her body to get her point across to the team was striking. 

 

The way her eyes shines at every shot. How a few rebels strands of hairs fall in her face. The small biting of her lower lips as she focuses. Her slim frame, perfectly define by the fabric of her outfit, hugging and accentuating her curves.

 

Victoria Chase is a great photographer, there is no denying it. But she would make a fine model. I wonder if she would agree to pose for me? I could do a proper live figure drawing of her…make sure there wasn’t a square inch of cloth on her that would cover that body---

 

Oh gosh, Kate! You did not just think  **_that_ ** !

 

I can feel my face heat up as I observe quietly the photographer in action. 

 

A gentle bump to my elbow alerts me that Courtney is still there, also watching. How her lips peel up into a slight smirk makes me a bit more nervous than I already am. 

 

“Soooo… the models are hot, aren’t they?” Courtney asks, casually. Just total small talk, right?

 

I clear my throat a little, “yes, they’re quite beautiful. Good casting.” 

 

“Which one you think is hottest?” Courtney asks. My lips twist and my cheeks burn a bit, “come on, play along -- like, if I wasn’t engaged to Taylor then I’d totally ask the black girl with flawless skin out for drinks,” Courtney continues. I know she’s totally innocent but I’m still not used to being an out lesbian that...uh...openly ‘desires’ people. Yup, left over Christian guilt. Also, the way Courtney  _ looks _ at me, as though she’s searching for something...it makes me feel a bit unnerved. 

 

I clear my throat again, “Oh, well, they’re models, they’re all beautiful.” I answer noncommittally. Courtney shrugs, getting a bottle of water and handing it to me, I take it gratefully and as I uncap it I hear Courtney interject, “hmmm, I get it, none of the models are your type” I lightly nod my head, confirming her suspicions. As I guzzle the water down I hear her start again, “aha, I know…” there’s something wicked in her tone, 

 

“that photographer’s pretty damn hot, isn’t she?”

 

I inhale sharply, with the water still in my mouth, burning down as it’s goes into my windpipe. Coughing harshly the liquid out, I feel Courtney’s hand on my back and soon, everyone is looking at me. I see Victoria through the tears of pain half blinding me, nearly dropping her expensive professional camera when she sees me.

 

“Kate!? What…?” She asks out loud, genuinely flabbergasted.

 

“Hey Victoria! Hope you don’t mind that I invited Katie to our little project? A little thanks for her helping us out with our kittens and all” Courtney said genially, still rubbing my back. 

 

Victoria opened and closed her mouth, not making any noise. I also stared back at her, second-guessing every decision I had made in my life that led me to this point. Everyone in the room stared from me, back to Victoria and waited. Finally, Victoria shook her head, “Alright, we’re done with this shot. Let’s get Rebecca changed and Monique’s up. Make sure the next set’s ready and Courtney - do some touch ups to Monique.” 

 

The small team immediately squirreled away, everyone doing something to get the next shot up. Courtney stood up, all smiles, “no problem, Victoria.” Courtney glanced back at me, giving my arm a little squeeze. Why did I feel terribly exposed to her at that moment? She gave me a wink as if to say, no worries, her lips were sealed. She practically skipped away to fix the make-up on the beautiful Monique.

 

Victoria walked towards me and I stood up, no backing out now. 

 

“Kate.” She said. Her entire face was emotionless and her voice was more flat. Part of me wanted to sigh, even three years after Blackwell, even after how intimate we had been she was still so incredibly defensive. 

 

However, she wasn’t going to scare me. Not anymore. “Victoria, we need to talk.” I tell her firmly. No question. No suggestion. Fact. I see her jaw tightens and for a moment her face and eyes harden, revealing nothing. 

 

As I feel my body heat up, anxious, I feel transported back to that night of the Masquerade...the music blaring, the stuffiness and high temperature of the room.  _ “.. would you do me the honor of sharing a dance with me?” after I asked that her face had also revealed nothing… _

 

_ Then her eyes twinkled and a long devious smirk came across her lips, “took you long enough--” _

 

Victoria’s eyes softened a little, “Ok.” she says, her voice a touch softer as well.

 

Oh! Well, uh, I hadn’t expected her to answer like that. “alright, when are you free this upcoming week?” I ask, not planning on drawing this conversation out any longer than necessary. 

 

Her shoulders slacken a bit and for a moment she just looks tired. Those green eyes spill out a muted guilt towards me. For a split second, I wonder if she had been thinking about this conversation for as long as I have. I wonder if it had eaten away at her some nights in the past. I wonder if she ever felt like a coward when Taylor and Courtney had reached out to me to make amends, but she could not. 

 

I wonder if my touch has been haunting her just like hers has to me.

 

“Tuesday, 2pm.” she answers and just like that she straightens herself up again, becoming Victoria Chase again. 

 

“Alright, that I can do, how about Ellen’s Corner?”

 

“No, Intelligensia. Ellen’s Corner’s coffee is subpar.”

 

“Intelligensia’s teas are subpar.”

 

There’s a twinkle of affection in Victoria’s eye as she comments, “still a tea drinker?” 

 

“Always,” I answer, 

 

“I’m surprised you haven’t fallen to the dark side yet” she says and I shake my head, a small smile on my face. Her lips crinkle in a tiny smile before she suggests, 

 

“...Philz Coffee?”

 

“Yeah, Philz Coffee. Tuesday at 2.” I confirm. Philz only had a couple of different blends, but they were very good blends. 

 

“Whenever you’re ready Victoria!” I hear one of the photo assistants shout out. Victoria turns and waves at him, she’ll be over there soon. 

 

“I’ll talk to you then.” she tells me coolly as she turns back towards the set, her world. I see Courtney off to the side give me a little wave and another sly wink. Ok, I do not like what she was insinuating. What did she know and  _ how _ was my question. 

 

I exited pretty shortly afterwards. My heart thudded with both triumph as I had successfully accomplished my goal as well as anxiety, because I was finally going to have that talk that had been waiting three years to happen. 

 

I kind of just wish that maybe we made out  _ after _ this talk rather than before. It would make my emotions a heck of a lot easier to deal with right now. 

 

It’s a crime that she can be so attractive in just a t-shirt and jeans and how hot it was when she took command of her team --

 

UGH!

 

STUPID GAY HORMONES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiger_with_spots: Sorry Kate, but the stupid gay hormones are only going to ramp up from here. As well as all your other emotions too. Things aren’t going to get any easier from here, folks! The next chapter’s going to be a fun one because Victoria and Kate are actually going to have a nice little chat face to face while sober….ahem. 
> 
> Drew244: And they will get dirty... but not in the way you expect them!


	3. Knocked

**“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” - C.S. Lewis**

 

It’s not even one o’clock when I settled down in Philz Coffee, a homemade raspberry iced tea and a simple turkey sandwich sitting on the table beside my Macbook as I color digitally some of my latest drawing for my children’s book project.

 

I focus on my work, taking a sip and a bite here and there, absorbed by the task. When all I have to think about is color and composition, my stress falls away. I can let go of the anxiety I’ve been holding for days. I can forget how I will finally talk with Victoria and finally resolve a painful wound that’s been in my life for the past three years.

 

When I first sat down I couldn’t believe how fast Tuesday came by. I feel like the photoshoot was yesterday.

 

However, stylus in my hand and work before me, I can let the butterflies out of my stomach and concentrate. Before I even realize it, a hand on my shoulder almost makes me jump off my chair.

 

“Some ugly ass pickup truck blocked my car. Had to wait for the tow truck to move it. Some people shouldn’t have a driver license.” Victoria states coldly before setting on the chair in front of me with a tall cup of black coffee and cream. I quickly save my work before putting my laptop back in my bag. I take a quick glance at my watch, how is it two o’clock already? “Is the sandwich that bad?” She points at my half-eaten food.

 

“No, just really focused on work.” I take a sip of my drink, feeling awkward. What was wrong with my food? Why did she care? Why do I want to do this again?

 

“We chose this place for both good coffee and tea and you go with that?” She stares at my iced tea like it offended her entire family.

 

“Well, it is a bit warm outside” 

 

“Come on, they have better items here.” Victoria persists, scrutinizing my items with a barely veiled hostility. I...honestly don’t know what to really say? Like, what was her  _ deal? _

 

“Um...it seemed like a good choice that wasn’t too expensive” I try to reason, only for her to cut me off, 

 

“Ugh. Fine,” she gets up and for a second I thought she was leaving, 

 

“What?”

 

Victoria’s hand came out, motioning me to sit, “Stay. I’m getting this.”

 

“Victoria, I already have--”

 

She blatantly ignores me and goes back up to the counter to order stuff. I stare at her, a bit stupefied. I see her point to at some items and ask them questions about the tea. I’m pretty sure I heard her say, “just give me the best and get it out quick.”

 

She sits down, whipping out her phone to read through some emails and barely a minute later my new very nice tea and a nice slice of cheesecake is placed next to me. I blink and notice that Victoria’s  staring at me from behind her bangs, watching my actions. 

 

“Thank you, but really that wasn’t necessary--”

 

“How is it?” she cuts me off again still watching my every move. It only then comes to me that she wants me to try the items she got me. I put the tea to my lips and am awarded with only the nicest herbal aroma, the hot liquid slips between my lips and I have to admit that it’s better than the iced tea I had before. 

 

“It’s very good” I tell her.  _ Finally _ she seems to relax. 

 

I watch her take a sip of her coffee. How the barest film of thick cream stays on her top lip and how her tongue flicked out to wipe it off. I wasn’t sure if I was more upset at Victoria for making such a simple action seem attractive, or if I was more upset at me for finding erotica within that simple action. Perhaps Chloe was right, I needed to get laid.

 

To forget my hormones induced thoughts, I take a bite of the cheesecake and can’t help the appreciative moan escape my throat.

 

I try to speak as the decadent filling coats my tongue, “This is amazing.” As I look at the other girl, I’m a bit perplexed at how stiff she became. How she eyed my mouth for a moment before her eyes flicked back to her phone. 

 

“Of course, it’s good. It’s Philz.” 

 

I place my fork down and observe her on her phone. Probably purposefully ignoring me. Not that I blame her. This was entirely painful, strange and I didn’t even know where to begin. Well, let’s get right to it, 

 

“So, I want to talk about Blackwell.” 

 

Victoria stopped texting.

 

“Specifically October.”

 

She abruptly put down her phone, “there’s only September and October.” she snipped at me. I grimaced a little. Yes, the storm removed whatever other months we could have spent at Blackwell, but moving on…

 

“I got that, but…” why was this so hard to say? “I...I want to know about the party”

 

“Which party?” she snips at me again, “there was lots.”

 

“The only one I went to” I bit my tongue, trying to reel in the sudden flare of annoyance at her. Couldn’t she see that this was just as painful for me to bring up again? I saw her jaw clench. Finally, her eyes turn towards me, 

 

“What do  _ you _ want to know?” she responded, cold and sharp. 

 

That annoyance surged back again. Why was she treating me as though I was some detective that was interrogating her? Didn’t she remember that the detectives questioned everyone? That they questioned  _ me _ most of all? 

 

However, thankfully that annoyance fueled me to get on with it, “did you know that Nathan drugged me?”

 

“Fuck no” she hisses, cutting me off, “as if I knew what he was up to with Mark Jefferson.”

 

“He was your best friend, excuse me.” I respond as politely as I could. I see a deep scowl on her face. “but I already suspected that you didn’t know anything.” 

 

“Then why bring that up?” she snapped, beyond sour. 

 

“Because that’s what happened when you recorded that video of me.” I fire back, my voice sharp. I see both her hands clench up and she looks away again. As much as I fight not to let her get to me, I feel a steady rumble of vexation fill me. No, Victoria. You don’t get to act like a child about this. Face me.

 

Look me in the face. 

 

“Why.” I ask her, “why take that video of me?” 

 

Slowly, methodically, she straightens out her sleeves making sure the cloth hangs off her immaculately. Still, no answer. 

 

I continue, trying to get her to come out, “I was drugged. I was alone. I needed help.” she brushes of the tops of her thighs and crosses her legs, “I told Nathan that I needed help… “ she rests one arm on the table and one arm on her leg, “you were there when he said he was going to bring me to the hospital-- “

 

“I don’t know.” She cuts me again. It’s curt. It’s cold. 

 

I feel my eyes widen, baffled. “You don’t know.”

 

“I don’t know.” She answers again. Curt. Cold. 

 

“How can you not know?”

 

Finally, her eyes flick up to meet mine. Within those green irises lay a storm of irritation, apathy and  something else. 

 

“I don’t believe you.” I blurt out. No, no, no, no. I have let Victoria get away with a lot. I let her get away with taking advantage of me for far too long and I am not letting her get away with not giving me an answer. 

  
She lets out a long sigh, as if trying to explain something to a child. It fuels my growing fury at her, “look, you were acting totally crazy. and we all have smartphones. I’m not the only one that recorded it. It was….entertaining.” 

 

“Entertaining.” 

 

Now eerily relaxed, she explained with a few waves of her hand, “Come on, Kate. Youtube and Facebook have been around for years. We’ve all seen videos of people doing stupid things. Epic fails, all that crap. People eat that shit up. That night was absolutely nuts, of course someone had to record it.”

 

Logically this all makes sense. Rationally I could agree with her. But there was  _ something else  _ there. Perhaps it was blind belief that there was more to Victoria Chase than  **_asshole_ ** but there was more to it than this!

 

“I wasn’t falling off some boat, or hitting myself in the face with a boomerang or something like that. I was roofied and making out with half a football team and a squad of cheerleaders. That’s immensely invasive and  _ not _ funny. I don’t watch that.”

 

Victoria rested the side of her jaw on the back of her knuckles, an ugly smirk appearing on her face, “everyone else does.” I flexed my fingers, quietly letting out a breath. Don’t let her get to you. But why was she even acting like this? What was her point of doing this? What was she trying to prove? But there’s something she isn’t telling me. I’ve spent a lot of sleepless nights and agonizing days ruminating over every single detail. There’s something  _ else _ there, I just know it! 

 

“Did it not occur to you that it may hurt my feelings later?” Again, her eyes avert away from me, glancing out the window. A couple of seconds pass.

 

“No it didn’t. I was drunk and high, and thought it was viral material.” she makes a slight sliding motion with her hand, as though wiping something cumbersome away,  “That’s it. I didn’t really care.” she leans back in her chair, and she adds, as though just some off-handed comment, “It doesn’t really matter now, anyway.”

 

As soon as I could comprehend that sentence the weight and strength of every moment of anguish I had felt over that nightmarish 24 hours over the past three years did a wicked backhand to my heart. For a moment, I lost my breath. I forced myself to open my mouth and continue, 

 

“If it didn’t matter then why build the website?” I persisted, feeling my nerves spark, “you made that site  _ sober _ and with intention. Why go through all that trouble? You had to spend your own money to get that domain name! You probably paid someone to build it too! What was so special about showing everyone that?”

 

Her chin lifts up and she looks at me again, “Nothing special. I did it because I  _ could _ . That’s it. The website has been down for years anyway.” She sighed heavily, this time her long fingers elegantly pushing her bangs to the left. “Like I said, it doesn’t really matter anymore. Why bother asking about all that? In short, teenagers are assholes and I was one of them. Sorry.” 

 

My heart howled with injustice. Even though true, I didn’t buy that from her for a  _ millisecond. _

 

She took another sip of that expensive, creamy coffee. Her tongue flicking out and licking her lips, just the same as before. Now, it just reminded me of a lion licking it’s chops after eating a baby gazelle right in front of it’s mother, “Why dwell on the past? Just move forward like the rest of us.” She says this lightly, almost smug. God, I feel like I’m back in the bathroom again. Cornered, helpless, pathetic. I force myself to make eye contact with her. Right now, to anyone else she would seem so confident; leaning back, legs crossed, one hand on the table and one resting on the edge of her knee, that nose in the air, eyes peering down at you. The girl with all the answers. The girl who had it all. The girl who was better than you at everything. Classic Victoria Chase. 

 

However, I wasn’t just anyone. And still, even now, even when my pride howled in pain and all these old wounds were resurfacing with a vengeance, I still saw  _ something else _ beneath this facade of a heartless bitch. 

 

Her fingers drummed along the table, as though it was just another day of just going through the motions. “So, now all that’s on the table--” she started to speak...

 

I felt this heat of wrath and for one of the few times in my life, I didn’t care. I wanted to be heard now, within this moment of offense, “Tell me what I did to you.” I cut her off, 

 

Victoria scoffed, “what?”

 

“No, tell me what I did to you before back in Blackwell. Tell me what on earth did I do that offended you  _ so _ much that...that-  _ this _ behavior towards me is justified.” I wave my hand at her, inviting her to jump in at anytime. Oh. So now her mouth purses and stays shut. So I continue, “come on. I want to know, what happened that made you  _ believe _ that picking on me, making fun of me,  _ recording me after your best friend drugged me _ and making that website. Congratulations, I’m glad I could help you make a viral video - over three million views, I remember. Did you put that on your resume?” Victoria’s jaw clenches but she remains silent for once. 

 

“No, no, I’m sorry” a truly ugly chuckle comes out of my throat, but  _ fuck it _ , she wants to play with knives then I’m going to fight back, “there must’ve been something else that I did because you corralled all your friends to keep  _ going after me _ . All that graffitti, all the crap you guys threw at me in class. How you would corner me in the bathroom? Let me ask you something, I’ve been really curious about this--” I lean towards her, my veins filled with ice and I ask her, voice quiet and chilling,  

 

“Had I not gotten up on that roof. Had I not being that close to jumping and letting you record my blood on your phone...would you have stopped? Or was your plan to keep torturing me until we graduated?”  

 

Victoria looks away, still silent. I see her shoulders make a random twitch. I wait for an answer. I wait for  _ anything. _ But no. She refuses to look at me, crossing her arms. She refuses to make a single sound. And I feel my spinal tap boil, and this time I lean in very close and lowly hiss at her, “you know what? Back at Blackwell, when people looked at you they saw someone rich, intelligent, beautiful--- someone who had it all. You want to know what I saw?” I see those green eyes flick at me from beneath her eyelids, “I saw someone who was going through a lot of pain. I saw that you were suffering, too.” For the first time in our entire conversation, I saw those green irises open with pain. I don’t care anymore, though. 

 

I put a hand on my bag, gripping the strap, “I also saw that your actions were pathetic.” I stood up, “I’m sorry that hasn’t changed one bit either.” I see her body flinch. Still, she said nothing.  I exited without another word. 

 

***

 

“Nothing? Nothing at all?” Max asks me, surprised. 

 

“Nope. Nothing.” I pace my room, still upset, “this is what I get for giving people second chances. Sorry Jesus, it didn’t work on this one.” I grumble. In front of Max I was holding up pretty well considering that inside my chest still reeled in pain. I always knew that this meeting could go badly, I just didn’t even think that it could go  _ this _ badly. My heart was crushed. 

 

We heard the door open, “LAAAAADIES” we hear Chloe bellow, “I’m hooooome!” 

 

“We’re in Kate’s!” Max calls back. I look and see her typing madly on her phone, glaring at it. She’s been on it a lot these days…

 

“This pirate is so pissed off! Some asshole towed my baby! I mean, I park it for five minutes to run into the store and get something and some jerk called the tow truck on it! So I had to spend all day trying to get it back! I won’t be able to recover it until Thursday.” Chloe vented all through the halls as she got to my room. She flopped onto my bed next to Max, pulling her down for a sloppy kiss. My heart bled both adoration and a tinge of envy. 

 

“So, my day was in the shit, but how’s my two favorites ladies going?” Chloe asks after she lets Max go. Our freckled roommate makes a silent, quick nod towards me. Immediately Chloe looks at me, expectant. 

 

“I met with Victoria...” I mumble. I should have listened to her. That whole meeting was a bad idea, “it went absolutely terrible” I confess to her. Chloe’s face immediately loosens with empathy and concern, 

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Yeah,” I mutter, putting on a bitter smile, “you were right.” I try and kick my heart up but it stays on the floor, rolling in pain. “You were so right.” I try and joke. Chloe stands up and in two steps I’m already in her arms. Chloe gave hella great hugs. 

 

“Man, I was hoping you’d prove me hella wrong.” She tightens her hold around me, “I’m going to beat the shit out of her.” she promises.

 

“Chloe, no.” Max states flatly from the bed, still texting.

 

“But she deserves it.” Chloe protests.

 

“I would like you to graduate without a criminal record.” Max adds, thumbs still dancing away.

 

“Fine. I won’t break her face in.” The tall woman sighed. Then she winked at me, “Yet.”

 

“Violence is not the answer anyway.” I remind her. “Just be there and be your usual goofy self. It will be enough.”

 

“I can do that.” She hugs me tighter, lifting me from the ground playfully while I squeal. Max though doesn’t seem interested. She’s still on her phone, typing away. Chloe puts me down and looks over at her girlfriend,

 

“Max?”

 

“Hum?”

 

“Are you cheating on me?” Chloe asks, point-blank. Max head whips up from her phone, eyes wide open, a shocked expression on her face.

 

“What? NO! I would never do that! Where is this even coming from?”

 

“You’re texting someone all the time and refuse to tell me who it is.” Chloe states, irritated, her hands jamming into her pockets. 

 

“It’s a freshman. I told you already. I’m tutoring him.” 

 

Both Chloe and I exchange a look of disbelief. As brilliant as Max is at photography, she’s a  _ terrible _ teacher. She’s far too much in her own mind to ever be effective. However I believe with all my heart that she’s not cheating on Chloe. But whoever her new friend is definitely choosing the wrong time to blow up her phone...

 

***

My disastrous coffee with Victoria is behind me. I tried, I failed. I will not lose sleep or revert back into a constant state of depression and anxiety because of her. Never again. At least this is what I tell myself to try and get my heart to feel normal again. My heart is stubborn in taking its sweet time to lick the wounds. 

 

It’s Wednesday, which means I have a full day of classes followed by a busy evening at the shelter. It’s a good thing, though, Wednesdays don’t allow me the time to ruminate over events and people that just won’t ever change. I enter the school library, in need of a new novel to read before going to sleep. I’ve always liked to read, but I further developed the habit when I found it allowed me to relax and sleep better. It’s a trick I came up with when the doctor decided to lower my sleeping medication.

 

I know exactly which book I want and where to find it. It’s been checked out for weeks now and I find myself in front of the same tall bookshelves as before, when I realize something. They moved it. Not far. Just higher.

 

Discrimination toward the vertically challenged people. Tsk.

 

I grab the shelve with my left hand to keep myself steady, climb on the tip of my toes and extend my right hand.

 

Darn it!

 

I’m missing a couple of inches. I should wear heels just to go to the library!

 

I try again when suddenly a solid warmth presses against my back, an all too familiar perfume filling the air, reminding me of a dance floor, EDM music and a sea of masked people.

 

_ “Where have you been, mon bel ange?” _

 

I close my eyes for a second, trying to wipe away the memories from my mind.

 

A hand barely brushes past my fingers, reaches out and takes the book by the spine.The body pressed behind me takes a step back. At the loss of heat I immediately turn around to face Victoria Chase, wearing her usual neutral expression, avoiding looking at me in the eyes.

 

“There.” She gives me the book. “Can we talk?”

 

I...wait...what? 

 

_ “It doesn’t even matter anymore.”  _

 

“No.” I answer flatly, abruptly walking away. 

 

“Kate, wait.” She grabs my arm, forcing me to stop and turn toward her.

 

_ “Hey! Wait, what is going on?” the stranger panted out, out-running Chloe down the stairs.  _

 

Why can’t that damn night leave my mind already?

 

I turn to face her and I feel her grip squeeze my arm, “look, I freaked out at Philz yesterday, I want to talk again--” 

 

“We’re done talking, Victoria. You made that quite clear yesterday. I’m following your own advice. I’m moving on. Now let me go.” I pull my arm back to me, put the book back on a nearby table and walk out of the library. I haven’t been able to read that book for months, I can wait some more time. 

 

And of course because God wants me to suffer more, I spend the rest of the day thinking about our little encounter in the library. What is wrong with that girl? One moment she’s cold and uncaring and the next moment she wants to talk and is acting as though she actually cares.

 

I soon finish my shift at the shelter. Every night I walk to the bus station. It’s not the safest area, but I keep alert and have done this walk for more than a year and a half. As long as I make it to the station, I’m good. 

 

Just as I get out of the building, I bump into someone.

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking.” I lift my eyes to see the person I nearly knocked over.

 

Victoria.

 

Again.

 

“We need to talk.” 

 

“Are you stalking me?”

 

“What? No! No. Of course not. I already know you work here. I was just waiting until you finished.” Oh, so she was just waiting for me here. Yep, that’s not stalking me at all. Well, technically very thin line between the two, but still. I walk around her and head towards my bus station. Much to my surprise though, Victoria follows, hot on my heels. 

 

Huh. Victoria Chase is chasing me down. I don’t know why it’s so funny to me right now even though it’s hysterically stupid. All the same though, I’m not humored. Come on, I just want to move on from this, once and for all. If my tormentor kept popping up in my life, bullying me or kissing me, then I wouldn’t be able to move on. 

 

“Let me drive you back to your place.”

 

“I can get home myself, as I have, without you, for as long as I have been alive. Go back to your perfect life. Leave me alone.” I tell her, not stopping. For about a minute I believe I lost her. Letting out a breath of relief I continue towards the station. Only to feel my ears prick at the BEEP sound of a car fob. 

 

My ears then keep a detailed list of what they heard in succession: A heavy door open and close, an engine starting, wheels turning and the sound of a alive car becoming louder and louder...

 

But no. She’s driving her black Audi slowly beside me. I take a glance and can see a determined look on her face. 

 

And I feel further infuriated because someone as awful as Victoria should not be nearly be as  _ attractive _ as she is! 

 

The passenger window comes down, “I’m not letting you walk alone back home. It’s not safe.”

 

Something within me tears and my anger leaks out. It reminded me of someone filling up a water balloon, but rather than tying the top, they just squeezed the plump rubber and let all the water flow on out. As the fury leaves me, all that’s left is sadness. 

 

Finally, I stop. Staring at the car. The engine rumbles, sounding strong and safe. “Come on, Kate. Let me take you home.” Victoria insists. I bite my lip, ashamed that something truly tender is coming out of me. 

 

“Where was this?” I ask her. Her brow scrunches up, confused, 

 

“Where was what?” she retorts, I see her hands squeezing the wheel. 

 

“This” I stress, pointing at the car. “I needed  _ this  _ three years ago. When I was messed up and I told everyone I felt sick, including  **_you_ ** , and needed to get out of that party -- that’s when I needed someone to come in and say that ‘hey! it’s not safe for you here, let me take you home’ that’s all I wanted…” I shook my head, embarrassed that the back of my eyes burned with sorrow, 

 

But I used that burn to force out a call to Victoria, “Why now? Why help me now? Is it because there’s no entertainment value to me anymore?” 

 

Unlike her previous cool and collected self back in Philz, she looks at me, truly unsettled. She white knuckles her steering wheel. She’s silent for just a moment.

 

“Kate. Get in the car.” she demands, “get in the car and I can explain.” 

 

I turn and start walking again. A loud BLARE of her horn makes me jump a little, 

 

“Kate! Please!” Victoria shouts at me, “I want to talk again!” she pleads.

 

“Oh. So you want to talk now?” I fire back at her, thankful that my anger returns, “you want to know something? I’ve waited three years to talk. You don’t get to completely disregard someone and make them feel like- like they’re nothing, only to come back when you  _ feel _ like it and then try again on your terms and your schedule… life doesn’t revolve around you, Victoria!”

 

I see my station up ahead. And my bus parked right in there waiting for me...wait. Wait! The bus shouldn’t be there now! I should have five minutes! Oh no no no no!!!

 

I begin to jog up ahead because I can’t miss this bus. Of all the busses to miss, this can’t be the one because Chloe’s car is still impounded and I have Victoria Chase literally following me---

 

It pulls out of the station, speeding away. Completely apathetic to my current crises. I grip at my temples as I stare at it becoming smaller and smaller, turning the corner and disappearing… I want to scream. I want to swear to God how unfair he is. 

 

I  _ hate  _ public transportation. That’s it. I’m buying a car. I don’t care if it’s an old beat up piece of rust. If I had this car right now, I wouldn’t be stuck in such a  **_shitty_ ** situation.

 

Either I walk, which mean I will probably get home in the middle of the night, if I ever get back home at all. Or I take upon the offer which just parked in front of me. There’s also Uber but I have bills this week which mean I need to watch my spending…

 

The car engine stops. 

 

“I am taking you back home, Katie.”

 

“You can’t park there, it’s a bus zone.” I reply weakly. Dear Lord, why so many trials in my short life?

 

“Then get in the in car and I will leave the bus zone.” Victoria stated as factually as one would say, ‘drinking water will ease your thirst.’

 

I feel my resolve come back at once. If I climb back in the luxurious vehicle before me, it will be on my own terms.

 

“No talking. That’s my condition.”

 

“You can’t be serious?”

 

“I am. I still could wait for the next bus instead of taking up your offer.” Had I been any less agitated I would be scandalized by this blatant lie. That bus was the last one of the day for that line.

 

Victoria eyes me, and I try to make sure my poker face is on, whatever that may be. “.... Just get in the car. I won’t talk.” 

 

I sighed loudly and open the passenger door. She’s driving a sleek Audi A6 2016. Of course it’s super nice. Of course the seats are nearly as comfortable as the couch in my apartment. God, let me hate this girl. Just let me hate her… 

 

“Where to?” Asks Victoria. Now that I’m in the car, she seems relaxed. I feel myself frown, indignant. How could she be so comfortable where I wasn’t? I shouldn’t have accepted. An uber would have been a better alternative to that. If I wasn’t so darn broke this week.

 

“No talking.” I grumble.

 

“I need your address. Or you’re stuck with me all night.” she responds, dry as a cracker. Touché. 

 

“1234 S King street. It’s almost at the corner of the 12th avenue.”

 

“I know where it is. We’re almost neighbors. I’m on the the 7th avenue” Please Victoria, stop trying to be nice. It doesn’t work. You’re never nice. 

 

“I said no talking.” I warn, staying calm but letting just the lightest lilt of threat in my voice.

 

“It’s just small talk, you know, like what normal people do?” 

 

I unbuckle my seatbelt, “Well, I’m out” I pull the door handle for emphasis… and hear the locks shift down, Victoria’s head whips towards me and back to the road and back to me

 

“Are you fucking crazy!?” 

 

“I’ve done crazier things.” Hey, I mean I tried to jump off a roof, why not try jumping out of a car?

 

“Well you’re not doing pulling that shit in my car! Just sit your ass down.”

“Then just shut up and drive.” I grumble. I know I seem like a brat at the moment, but I don’t care. If Victoria can be as troublesome as she wants, then so can I. 

 

Victoria takes in a big breath and says as calmly as she can,”I said that I will take you home and I will.” She looks at with eyes full of resolve. Beautiful, expressive eyes… Stop it, Kate. Not the time for that. Never the time for that with her.

 

For a several minutes, minus a couple of directions from me, there’s sweet silence. Then, 

 

“How’s that book project?” Small talk again. Seriously, since when she doesn’t get the hint? I just stare out the window, ignoring her. 

 

“Alright. I’ll shut up.” she grumbled. 

 

And the silence lasts a whole two minutes before she goes again. “So, about that coffee, this time I was thinking we go…”

 

I cut her off, in disbelief, “have you heard a single thing I said?” 

 

“Kate, be reasonable.”

 

“I’m fed up with being reasonable. I’ve tried to be reasonable with you and that’s given me nothing but grief. I don’t want to talk to you now.” Period.  

 

“Ugh! Fine, whatever.”

 

The rest of the ride is a tense silence. This is the weirdest car ride of my life.

 

We finally arrive in front of the small building. As soon as she parks the car, I undo my seatbelt and try to exit as soon as I can. However, her hand jabs the ‘all lock’ button. The door doesn’t budge.

 

A flood of burnt frustration scratches against the back of my forehead, “Unlock the door.” I tell her, voice low. 

 

“Kate. I know Tuesday was awful. But you have to give me another chance…”

 

My ears ring as I feel this swell of anxiety, anger, frustration, confusion and the most infuriating touch of  _ want _ swell within me. Why are we still fighting about this? Why did I always have to constantly give her the chance? WI don’t want to fight her anymore and I don’t want to give her what she wants. I just want out. I just want this all to end. I want…

 

A flash of a memory sparks in my pupils. 

 

“Do you remember the note?” I ask her, suddenly remembering the paper within my hands. I remember my fingertips just barely brushing over the writing, “the one you wrote and sent to me when I was in the hospital.” 

 

The barest of hitches to her breath, before she confirms, “yes. I remember.” 

 

“I was so surprised that you had put something in the care package. I read it over and over again because at first I couldn’t believe that you would write it.” I remember leaning back in that uncomfortable bed, how I had slowly and with disbelief, parsed through all the nice things people had sent me. How the world seemed to slow as I picked up Victoria’s card...

 

“You have no idea how much I needed to see that you were more than this...this bully to me.” I feel the works leak out between my lips. I remember how I felt the tiny sprout of hope and compassion out of my heart after reading her note.  

 

“You have no idea how long I had waited for Tuesday… For you, maybe it was just an inconvenience in your life, but for me?” I shook my head, “you have no idea…”

 

“I do” she says so quietly, and I hit the lip of the window 

 

“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of my tears. Not tonight. Not ever, “you don’t. You will never know. And you just threw it all in face. As if nothing I have felt, as if nothing that you did to me mattered anymore. As though all that pain...Everything that happened around that. The hundreds of calls. The hundreds of e-mails. The harassment. My family’s wrath. My community wanting to disown me. My friends making fun of me. The entire town calling me a ‘viral slut’. The police getting angry at me for not remembering any more than I did...” 

 

Finally I turn to face her, “All of it matters to me.” 

 

Victoria opened her mouth, “...Kate,” she tries to say, but I don’t want to hear it and I continue on, 

 

“Do you remember the last line of the note you wrote to me?”

 

She closes her mouth and swallows. I’m about to say it to her because there’s no way I could ever forget, but she answers, “ Please let me know if you need anything.”

 

I force myself to look at her as I explain, hating how my words wobble on my tongue, “I needed to talk to you. I needed Tuesday to happen. I needed you to say whatever it is that you needed to say then on that day. I needed you to be honest and open with me… I needed you to  _ talk _ to me. You didn’t do that. I don’t know what the heck you were thinking, but you couldn’t even just talk to me like I was a person even  _ worth _ your respect. Now I need you to leave me alone, Victoria. Maybe you’re right. Maybe one day we can talk again, but right now? I need you to unlock this door and let me go.” 

 

In that car, Victoria kept her mouth shut, lips closed and jaw clenched. As I looked at her, I saw what I saw in her all those years ago: Pain. 

 

Her hand slides over the center console. I hear the locks release. 

 

I open the door and exit, closing the door behind me without another word. 

 

As I enter my building, I take a single look back. The last thing I saw of her was how her rigid torso slumped down and she rested her forehead against the steering wheel. Then the building door slammed shut. 

  
  
  


***

  
  


That ethical reasoning class will be the death of me. Not only we have the most boring teacher on campus, but the subject itself is so vague and we have a new very long assignment at every single class. If this class wasn’t mandatory, I would probably just drop it.

 

I never been happier to go back home and do anything not related to that awful class.

 

I barely turned the corner that I hear some loud voices. People arguing from the sound of it. It’s Friday and 90% of the people living in the area are students so my first guess is drunk people getting into a fight. This wouldn’t be the first time since we moved here.

 

But I stop dead in my track as I reach the front of my apartment building and see who’s arguing.

 

“Just go back to the country club or yacht or wherever rich brats like you hang out at! Leave her the fuck alone!” Chloe stands outside, fists clenched with anger, while shouting at… Victoria!?

 

“This is none of your damn business, Price! Whatever goes on between Kate and I only concerns us. She’s an adult and doesn’t need a guard dog! Piss off!”

 

“Oh hell no! Whatever happens concerns me! She’s  _ my _ friend and you just hurt her all the damn time! So drive off in your fucking Audi and never come back.”

 

Victoria visibly bristles at that comment and something very dark comes out, “as if I give a  _ shit _ about what you think. You’re just trailer trash and your opinions are worthless. Now fuck off and get out---”

 

Chloe moves so fast that I nearly miss her fist flying out and  _ nailing _ Victoria in the face. The smack echoed down the street and caused my blood to freeze. I gasp aloud as I see Victoria falls over, like a felled tree, and hit the concrete with a thud that reverberated in my heart. Before I can even think ‘ _ what the actual fu--’  _ Chloe jumps on the stunned woman, grips her collar with her right hand and raises her left fist up--

 

When the second SMACK breaks my ear drums it’s the firing gun that snaps me out of my stupor and I book it towards them. 

 

My heart thuds like a war drum, trying to get my legs to sprint faster. My roommate just  _ pounds into _ the other girl. Hell hath no fury than Chloe pissed off. Victoria had somehow lifted up her arms and was trying to block the hits with little success.

 

But she wasn’t fighting back. 

 

Every cell within my body screamed Run. Run. RUN! RUN!!!

 

Any sort of diplomatic, rational thought was left behind as I leap and tackle Chloe. Both of us fall over, our skin scraping against the sidewalk. 

 

“Fuck!” Chloe yells and I feel her strength fight against my arms. 

 

“Stop! Chloe! Stop it!” I hear myself yelling. Chloe resists and screams back something vile as she tries to get back towards Victoria. My brain and heart is in such appalled frenzy that I can’t even comprehend what I’m saying. What she’s saying. All I know is that it’s too much yelling.

 

Later, all I will remember of the moment was Victoria, dazed, rolling over and trying to get up. Her arm barely able to hold herself up. Droplets of blood splashing against the gray gravel. Bangs in her eyes as she lifted up her other hand to gingerly touch her face. Her palm covered in thick red. 

 

I would draw it later. 

 

But in that moment, Chloe finally wrestles out of my grip but I leap over her and get on top of Victoria, protecting her with my body. 

 

She feels damp. Hot. Twitching. 

 

Like one of the abused cats we saw in the shelter last week.  

 

“Get out of the way!” Chloe shouts at me, I look up at her. She’s so furious that her body shakes. Those blue eyes blazing like a furnace of anger. It’s terrifying. 

 

“No.” I reply, feeling as though I can’t breathe. Chloe’s expression shifts, stunned. It looks as though I’ve slapped her. My heart cracks. But I get up, meeting Chloe at her level...well the best I could even when looking up at her. 

 

“Why...Why are you protecting her?” she demands, fists still clenched. I turn away from her in the moment and take Victoria’s scratched up hands, skin raw and filling with red. For a second, I ignore Chloe as I attempt to pull Victoria up, “After all she did!? She deserves so much worse! She keeps hurting you! I’m not gonna stand by and watch her do it again!” Chloe cries out. 

 

Those eyes, still full of anger shine wet with tears. 

 

She attempts at lunging around me to get at Victoria again and I spin around, grabbing her arms, 

 

“Chloe! I’m stopping you from getting put in jail for assault and battery” I plead, “yes, she may deserve all of this and more, but if I let you hurt her then I’m no better than she.” 

 

I let go of her arms and this time take Victoria’s torn up sleeve in my hand, “come on, let’s get you to the hospital.” I tell her gently. Victoria says nothing. 

 

I hear Chloe let out a disbelieved scoff, “You can’t be fucking serious.” I look back at Chloe, 

“It’s just scraps and cuts and bruises. Maybe a few lost teeth. Deal with it, like the rest of us  _ trailer trash _ have!” 

 

“Chloe!” I start, desperately trying to keep my cool but my adrenaline has thrown everything off kilter. 

 

“She’s right.” Victoria mumbled. I whip my head back to her, not sure if I caught her speech, “I’ll...be fine.” my chest squeezes in terror. Why is her voice gargling like that? “I..just...need to get--my room” 

 

I’m not entirely convinced because I think Chloe gave her some brain damage, but fine, “ok, let’s go into my room.” I tell her, softly. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Chloe spits out. This time I ignore her because I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t deal with how Chloe beat the shit out of my previous bully who certainly deserved it but I also made out with and this is truly problematic…

 

“I appreciate you protecting me. I do.” I tell Chloe, my own voice wavering under the weight of this entire situation,  “But this is too much, Chloe. Stop.” 

 

For a second, Chloe’s arms drop and her eyebrows concave. My heart cracks even more because in that moment she looked like I had physically slapped her again. Stunned that I would even respond that way. All too soon, that hurt gets fueled by that energetic fury and she growls at me, 

 

“Is that so? Well, sorry for protecting my fucking family! Because yes, Kate, that’s how I see you! You’re a sister to me, and I won’t let anyone hurt you again. Especially not that fucking bitch!” She stomps into our space again and I have to switch and place myself between the two of them. Like a tiny puppy trying to prevent two grown dogs from biting each other. “You know what you did, cunt? We had to deal with so many nightmares, because of you. We had to deal with so many panic attacks.” My temples throb as I try to just navigate Victoria towards the door and prepare for Chloe grabbing her again,  “We had to deal with her  _ cutting herself _ ! All because of you and your fucking sadism! And everything was going so well this year but you just  _ had _ to come back into our life and try to wreck shit.” Victoria just stares at the ground, blood droplets falling from her face. “You need people to be miserable for you to be happy! I had enough! You deserve so much worse.”

 

I can see the wrath within Chloe swell and I know she’s going to grab at Victoria again and I brace myself--

 

“CHLOE!!!” Another voice shouts, cracking with aghast. I look up and feel simultaneously scared and blessed that it’s my guardian angel, Max. Chloe turns and for a moment, she deflates, even through all her hurt I see the bit of love come through the toxic hate. “What the hell is going on?”

 

“Max,” Chloe starts, pointing at Victoria, “she---” Chloe 

 

“Chloe, stop!” Max quickly grab her girlfriend by the arm and pulls her away from us. “Kate, get Victoria inside. And you! You are coming with me! We need to talk. Now.” She drags the taller woman away and Chloe just let her do so without any resistance, knowing she messed up. In the last three years, they had two serious arguments, and Max looked as pissed as she looks now. I just hope things won’t go south between them because of me.

 

I support the hot sweaty body the of taller woman and we finally reach the elevator. I push the button for the last floor and force myself to be somewhat patient.

 

“I deserve this…” Victoria says and at first I couldn’t make out what she said before I turned my head up to look at her, “you shouldn’t have stepped in. I deserve it.” she says again, dazed. I shake my head, 

 

“I’m not going to stand by and let her break your face in, regardless.” I tell her, keeping my hand on her waist firm.

 

“I’ve had nightmares too…” she gargles again, 

 

“what?”

 

The elevator dings and I pull her through towards the apartment, 

 

“about you...on that roof…” she continues. 

 

I juggle with my keys and unlock the door before dragging her inside. I hesitate a second, between the kitchen and my room and decide to use my room instead.

 

“I couldn’t stop crying after you were taken down,” she explains, as if in a bloody trance, “I was so ashamed of myself”  I have her sit down on the chair in front of my desk, “I couldn’t believe what I had done to you…” I swallow my racing heart, 

 

“Just wait here,” I say instead. I leave her for a few minutes to scrub my hands clean of the germs, (clean of the anxiety if I could), quickly fill a small clean bucket with warm water, grabbing both some small towels and the first aid kit.

 

I quell my heart and force myself to calm down as I take Victoria’s face in my hands and really  _ look _ at the damage. 

 

“I’ve been waiting to meet you again…”

 

I gently shush her, “let me see you,” I gingerly cradle her jaw. Half her face is covered in blood, most coming from the split eyebrow. Her lower lip is busted. She has an already dark bruise along her cheekbone and forehead. Chloe really hit her  _ hard. _ And all that are only the injuries I can see. 

 

She has probably more along her arms, chest (a few punches landed there) and she fell pretty harshly on her back. 

 

There’s only one reason why I know what to do and why I’m not freaking out right now:

 

Youth group.

 

Christian Youth Group Summer Camp. 

 

When I went to the Youth Group camp every summer, there was plenty of injuries that happened to us campers. I would watch our counselors as they would tend to us kids. I remember a couple of times where someone had hit their head very hard, whether it be from falling from something or some other accident; 

 

I remember the first thing they did was to check their pupils. I took my phone and activated the flashlight. I lightly lift Victoria’s head up and shine the light in each eye, paying close attention to the pupil, making sure it reacts normally. Ok, so far, so good. 

 

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked gently, starting to ask her general questions. One, to see if she was disoriented and two, to calm myself down. 

 

“Victoria.” she mumbled. 

 

“What’s my name?”

 

“Kate.”

 

“What’s the day today?”

 

“Friday.”

 

“Where are we?”

 

“Your room.”

 

“When’s your birthday?”

 

“August 14.” I look at her puzzled. I’m pretty sure it was sometime in November. Perhaps Chloe really did punch her more times in the head than I saw--“I don’t put my real birthday on social media.” she interjected. I rose an eyebrow, I thought that was an antiquated thing to do, “what? I care about cyber security. When you get your identity stolen don’t come crying to me, thank you very much.” she grumbled. That forced a sideways smile on my face. Even after getting the stuffing whooped out of her, Victoria still had her snarkiness. 

 

“Okay, I don’t think you have any brain damage.”

 

“Good thing I guess.”

 

Second step is to stop the bleeding above her right eyes and clean the cut. I start to clean around the cut gently, she winces and speaks again,“It really mattered for me to talk to you again. It truly did. But as soon as I sat down with you I freaked out…” I hold my words back, just trying to finish the task at hand without shaking. “you didn’t deserve that at all”  grab some sterile gauze pads before applying a gentle pressure on the wound

 

Several years back, after Chloe and Max moved to my town Chloe had been skateboarding outside my Church one Sunday, waiting for me to get out. As we came out of Sunday Mass, we all saw her fall off the rail and face plant on the stairs, tumbling down them. Luckily one of our close church friends is a nurse and took care of her, teaching me in process in case that ever happened again (Hint: it did). My tall roommate was in so much worse shape back then than Victoria is right now. 

 

Every single little one of them will need proper cleaning and a good antiseptic treatment to avoid any infection. After a minute of holding a steady pressure, the blood stops flowing from the wound and I can focus on the other injuries.

 

She has mostly cuts and bruises. Her satin shirt and her skirt are both ruined too. I hope they weren’t too expensive. It will dig quite a hole in my wallet to replace them otherwise.

 

Again, this is Victoria Chase so it’s probably super expensive.

 

I feel that hole burn bigger. 

 

“I need to remove your shirt to look at your arms and back.”

 

She quietly unbuttons it with trembling fingers and I’m about to help her when I hold myself back, that was a bit too...  As she removes it as my face burn up at the sight of the lacy black bra, A rather large dark bruise has bloomed upon her pale skin, on her chest, below her collarbone and above her cleavage. 

 

I swallow. On that night in the club, I had wanted more than anything to be able to take off her clothes. God, why did it have to be under  _ these _ circumstances? 

 

I checked her back, there was some road rashes and bruises from when she landed and when Chloe jumped on top of her and then when I got ontop of her as well. I then move to her front, taking her arms into my hands. Well, they’re the only place on Victoria’s body that looks worse than her face at the moment. 

 

“I know more than anyone that you deserve an explanation. I still don’t know how to explain to you what was going on in my head when everything went down” 

 

I stay quiet, trying to focus on the task in my hands here. Large bruises and burns from the cement marred her forearms and hands, “I’m a coward, Kate. I couldn’t face you before. Not like Taylor. Not like Courtney…” 

 

A moan of pain escapes her as I start to clean the wounds. She takes a few deep breath before continuing.

 

“I can’t justify my actions, other than I was in a shitty place and I didn’t even think...you were an easy target. 

 

She winced in pain as the warm, rough cloth caught loose flaps of cut skin, “you had no status, no style, no money and were the weirdest of them all. A pathetic Christian that preached abstinence.” Victoria hissed as the warm water ran over her raw flesh, “And you weren’t even righteous. You were just sweet… so, so sweet. The entire damn town immediately adored you.” Victoria bit her lip and looked down,  “You should’ve been the laughing stock... and everyone loved you despite the fact that you were a loser. No one cared about me. No matter how hard I tried, no one felt that way about me.”

 

I put the cloth into the bucket, squeezing the first round of blood and dirt away as she continued, “You were different. You were so different and I was so angry that you could just be different and not care.As though nothing else mattered. I wanted that but I didn’t have it. I don’t have it.” 

 

My heart races as I continue to clean up her biceps, “I wanted to destroy you.” I stop and glance up at her. Those green eyes just radiated honesty and...tenderness. “ you, Max, Rachel...anyone that had those qualities that I wanted...I hated you all. But I admired you too, I wanted to be you, I wanted you gone. You reminded me of everything I wasn’t…I tried so hard everyday to be that girl with everything even though I felt like absolutely nothing. Yet you could walk around and be yourself, like you just woke up and just  _ were  _ talented, unique and beautiful. ” She’s babbling now but I don’t stop her and I again rinse the cloth, “ but I know it was wrong. I know that what I did was awful…” 

 

As I squeeze the cloth of excess water, brown and red liquid squeezes out between my fingers and into the bowl. Dirt and blood swirl together. 

 

Unfortunately the cut on her eyebrow started bleeding again. I reached up to clean out the cut on her eyebrow again, with gentle rubs, getting the dirt and blood off her face. I run the cloth over her nose, then lower still. Gingerly I trace her lips with the cloth, minding every divot and swell. Taking deep care not to aggravate the wound on her lower lip. For a couple of seconds I hold the cloth against the split. A moan of pain interrupts her own monologue. The memory of her in that cat mask flickers behind my corneas. I take the cloth and switch to my left hand starting to clean the opposite side of her face. My hand working up at around her temple, making quick scrubs at the offending material on her face.  

 

Suddenly, her hand rises and I feel her torn up fingers grasp my forearm. I see and feel her fingers trace down my skin towards my wrist, leaving tiny trails of red. Her thumb snakes to the inside of my wrist and finds the scar tissue and I shiver, feeling her thumb trace it up and down, up and down. “It was a long time ago,” I whisper, “I was in a dark place and everything just came back…” 

 

She guides my wrist towards her bleeding lip and presses it ever so gently against it. A bloody lip stain remains as she takes my hand into hers, “I  wished that I could turn back time and change who I was, what I’ve done and the pain that I’ve caused you. I wished so many times…” as she holds my hand she pulls me closer and my scar, caresses her cheek, “ I don’t know how I can ever say how sorry I am. I don’t know how I can make it up to you. I don’t know what I can do to fix this…” I feel something hot slide down my arm…

 

“I can’t fix this” she says, throat tight with agony, “I break everything and I can’t fix it…” 

 

“Victoria--- you’re doing great” my reply is so strangled that it’s only then that I realize that I’m crying too. 

 

Finally she hides her eyes against the inside of my elbow and sobs, “no, I’m terrible.” my pores absorb her tears and I drop the cloth, standing up and pulling her into me, 

 

“Just talk to me.” I whisper, “please just talk to me.” I feel her hot tears on my collarbone and I feel the blood from her lips and face smear across my skin and shirt. I feel how the sobs shake her body. Her hands grip at my waist, not letting go. 

 

“God, I’m sorry.” she cries into me. “I’m so, so, sorry.” she repeats. I hold onto her tight and I put my face into her hair and cry too. I cry because this is so fucked up. I cry because we’re two broken girls that don’t know how to fix this. 

 

I cry because that 18 year old that’s still in me, the one who was reeling in trauma and confusion, finally got what she needed to hear. 

 

I cry because I can finally forgive. 


	4. Hidden

**“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” - Oscar Wilde**

 

Blue. That’s all I see. The dark blue of the curtain in front of me as I lose myself in my thoughts. Work, School, Studying, Alice, Chloe and Max… I actually thought I had a good hold on my life before Victoria strolled back in it with her cat mask on. Now so much has happened within less than three days and I feel lost in this blue sea of everything.

After Chloe decided to impersonate Mike Tyson (minus the ear bite), I tried to treat Victoria the best I could, but her lips and eyebrow wouldn’t stop bleeding. Plus she complained she was starting to feel dizzy.

Thus off to the ER we went.

I drove us here with her car. Shamefully, I have to admit it was beautiful to drive and I couldn’t enjoy it at all under the circumstances. The ER was jammed as always, but thankfully when you’re a young woman with blood running down your face you tend to be swooped up quite quickly. The official story that we gave was that Victoria was hit by some scooter and the guy drove away. The doctor was quite persistent on calling the police but we were able to convince him otherwise. A quick exam followed by stitches made by a plastic surgeon (Victoria insisted quite loudly) and some tests.

Now we are waiting for the green light to leave the ER.

The blonde’s voice bring me back to reality. “Kate? Are you alright?”  
Victoria looked at me, a touch of concern in her green eyes. Her face is bruised, swollen, and splotches of dried blood still caked on parts of her chin, temple and neck. I should be the one asking her that!

“Yeah, just thinking. And you? How’s the pain?”

“Tolerable. The painkillers are starting to kick in.” I winced at her words and she reached out towards me, rolling her eyes, “Please, stop feeling guilty. It’s not your fault. I was asking for it.” she stated as though this were any other situation less than her getting whaled on by a pissed-off Chloe Price.

I snatch at her hand, a bit incensed that she’s trying to be so...casual about this? “Don’t say that! No one asks for that!”

I’m suddenly cut off by the curtain opening, the doctor letting himself in the small space. He stole a glance at our clasped hands. Both Victoria and I immediately let each other go. The doctor then cleared his throat, “Well, everything is fine besides a small concussion. No broken bones or internal bleeding. I made you a prescription for mild painkillers. You should be fully healed in a couple of weeks”

“That’s it?” I can’t help but ask. A head injury is something serious. They can’t just send her back with some tylenol.

“For the next few days, I recommend that someone stays with you, Miss Chase. If you experience great confusion, amnesia, vomiting, seizure or loss of consciousness, you will need to come back here. I’m sure your wife will take good care of you.” With that remark, he winks at me, gives us the prescription along with a list of symptoms to watch out for and leaves the room.

“Wife?” I can’t help but mutter, a little shocked.

I hear Victoria chuckle lightly. “Sorry, that was the only way to have you stay in the room while they did their exam. I wrote down you were my domestic partner on the form.”

“oh, okay.”

I shift on my feet, not really knowing what to say after that. Victoria glances around the room. Had it been anyone else, they would have been able to laugh that off. Maybe even congratulate Victoria on the quick thinking. However, with the history between us? Um. This is a bit awkward.

Thankfully, we are saved by my phone vibrating. I answer, grateful for the distraction.

“Hi?”

“Hey Kate, are you guys still in the hospital? We’re in the parking lot with Taylor.”

Max’s voice soothes me immediately. After I realised that Victoria needed some actual doctor, I texted my best friend to get either Courtney or Taylor to the hospital too.

“Yeah, we are actually getting out. We’ll be outside in a minute. See you there.”  
I hang up and look at Victoria. “Seems like your ride is here.”

She gets up off the bed, stretching her back as she looks at me with a puzzled expression. “My ride?”

“Taylor. She’ll drive you back and stay with you.” I see a flash of pain in her eyes and feel my heart clench a bit.

“You...you’re not?” Her voice shook ever so slightly, the only tell of her conflicted emotions.

“It’s better that way.” I can’t help but feel a small lump in my throat, she looks so small and fragile right now.

“Okay…” with that she walked out of the room, head lowered, as though retreating in defeat. I follow her in silence.

We soon reach the exit and walk toward the parking. Victoria limps a little and I stay close behind, watching her every movement.

I brush past the undulating, sweaty bodies following her to the center of the dance floor. All I could do was stare at how her hair trailed down her along her spine and the defined lines of her shoulder blades. That back was worth hours of sketching.

I am brought by in reality by Max’s voice calling out, “We’re over here.”

I look and see my friends near Chloe’s truck, which is parked in reserved spot.

Actually, looking more carefully, she’s parked in two reserved spots. Chloe really never learns, does she?

“Victoria!” a feminine voice cried out, concerned. Immediately Taylor is at our side. She gasped when Victoria turned to face her, taken aback by Victoria’s busted face. She reached out and gently grasped at Victoria’s face, “Jesus Tori…”

“I’m alright.” Victoria assured, her voice surprisingly soft.

Taylor’s hands gently run down Victoria’s shoulders, down her biceps and she grimaces as her fingers run over the bandages on Victoria’s arms.

This moment of tenderness between the two girls proved to me that their friendship was genuine and the affection between them sincere. I lick my lips and force myself to burst their tiny bubble,

“Here’s her keys.” I give the small sets to Taylor, whose eyebrows rise in arches,

“You let her drive your car?” she turned to Victoria, scandalized, “You never let anyone drive your car!”

“Kinda hard to do that with a concussion and blood in your eyes, Tay. I don’t want to get into another fucking accident on the way to the hospital. I can barely walk straight.”

“Meow, biyotch is back. I was worried for a minute.” Taylor chuckled a little before she looks at me. “Thank you so much for getting her to the hospital.”

I open my mouth, about to say how it’s not a big deal but someone else beat me to the punch,

“Did the doctor say anything?”

All heads jerked over towards the voice; the one and only Chloe Price. Taylor immediately stepped in front of Victoria, in a flash all softness gone from her face and replaced with protective hostility.

“Back off! You’ve already put her in the ER.”

“I know--” Chloe tried to interject, raising her hands up in surrender. My chest twists on itself when I see her knuckles blotchy maroon from her pounding. Up her forearms are some rashes from when I tackled her and we both fell over on the concrete. How one person could be like your overly-affectionate teddy-bear one moment to violent, protective grizzly another was something I was still trying to understand.

“You haven’t changed one bit since high school, haven’t you? You’re still a fucking animal - I’d like to see you punch your way out of this in court!”

Chloe, pained, “I--”

“I deserved it.”

Everyone fell silent at Victoria’s statement.

“Tori…”

Victoria lifted her nose up in the air in that snooty way she did when she believed she was right, “I did and we all know that I did.” she then huffed, “So, I’m not, like, going to press any charges.”

We all audibly gasped in unison. Max out of sheer relief. I, because I couldn’t even process the amount of crazy that had happened in the past three hours. Taylor, because she was gobsmacked that Victoria would let someone who beat the snot out of her up walk away unscathed

“Did she break your brain?” Taylor squawked.

“No, but she broke my face.” Victoria swept her bangs to the left, cool and collected, “ but we’re cool now.” she then turned to Chloe, giving her a pointed look (as well as one could with half a swollen face anyways).

Chloe, absolutely dumbfounded, took a couple moments before she responded, “yeah. We’re cool.”

Victoria sighed, her air of bored elitism surprisingly having dispelled all the tension in the air, “You have a ciggy? I fucking need a smoke.”

Chloe fished around her pocket for her crushed pack of cigarettes and fished one out, offering it to her. The injured girl took it with her scuffed up fingers and put it between her bruised lips she waited for Chloe to light it before taking a long drag from it.

“Can we have a few minutes?” Chloe asked out loud.

We all hesitated, Max, Taylor and I exchanging looks of wariness.

“Leave us.” Victoria commanded, absurdly confident considering the circumstances, “if anything happens, Kate will rescue me again.” I blinked. Um. I guess technically she was right about that. Victoria waved her hand back towards the building, “besides we're already outside the ER. So if anything truly happens, the doctors can fix me.”

Taylor, Max and I exchanged flabbergasted looks. Was Victoria seriously cracking jokes?

Later, we all stood back by Victoria’s car watching the two tall women talk from a distance. At first we all were bundles of tense nerves, unsure of what would happen. As the minutes went on however, all they did was stand a bit closer together, heads bowed down and both exchanging slight nods from time to time. They both light up another cigarette and we let them be.

Besides me Max watches, back slumped, exhausted from the emotional toll of the day. I was the one who had to stop Chloe from pummelling Victoria and deal with the bleeding girl in my room. However, I wondered how it was for Max who had to deal with the explosion of Chloe’s rage and hurt. How did she get Chloe to calm down and come here?

I’m yanked out of my thoughts when Taylor speaks up, breaking our silence.

“I know Victoria deserved that for what she did to Kate.” Taylor confessed quietly before she looked at Max and I, “She was a terror back then. I know that...I just wish that beating came back then, not now.” her eyes shone with emotion as she moved her hands, as if silently pleading, “But now she’s been through so much and has truly changed a lot. Yeah, she’s still bitchy and a bit arrogant but she’s better now. She’s not the same. You guys have to see that”

In that moment my heart bled for Taylor. I reach out and grasped Taylor’s elbow, “I do. I see that she has.” I give it a tender squeeze. Taylor looked at me, belief in my words not quite reaching her eyes.

She continued, gingerly, “She’s not perfect and yeah she still fucks up from time to time… but she is truly sincere about wanting to make things right with you. She really wants to move forward.”

A lump rose from my chest and got stuck in my throat and I look away. God, why did things between Victoria and I have to be so...complicated? “I hope we can.” I answer so quietly.

Out of the corner of my vision I saw Taylor and Max exchange a look. However before I could read into it Victoria and Chloe came back. Taylor immediately exited and took Victoria’s arm (much to her displeasure). As I headed back with Chloe and Max I peered over my shoulder and watched the two blondes return to Victoria’s Audi. Victoria turned around and her swollen face comes into view.

Despite injured lips and a busted eye she gives me a small smile and a small wave. Despite everything...she’s hopeful.

I return it. Also hopeful.

 

***

“KILL IT KATE! KILL IT!” Chloe yells at me. I smash the buttons on the controller,

“I’m trying!” I shout back at her, just as absorbed into Legend of Zelda as she is. I’m currently battling the second boss from Wind Waker, Kalle Demos.

I get interrupted in my thoughts by the chirping of my phone. A text message.

From Victoria.

Victoria: Whatcha up to?

It’s been two weeks since Chloe used Victoria as her punching bag. Since that turned out to be an amazing and traumatic bonding experience (trying out Chloe’s sarcastic humor here, I don’t think I quite have it down yet) we’ve both made a silent oath to communicate more. So, we’ve been texting on a regular basis and have even gone for a few coffee/tea dates together (mostly because I was worried and needed to see she was actually healing from her injuries). Um. Dates as in friend dates, not actual date dates because that would be…

I quickly type my reply.

‘Doing well, thanks. Playing LOZ wind waker. Hbu?”

‘Doing better. Went shopping this afternoon with the lovebirds, wish you could’ve joined xoxo’

‘Maybe next time :) So what did you buy?’

I paused the game to get up and start making myself some tea. I receive several messages, along with pictures.

A burgundy Givenchy handbag. She fell in love with it the moment she saw it.

A Jean Paul Gaultier black dress. For the new exposition at the Chase Space in two weeks.

A Hugo Boss designer suit for women. Just in case she might need it.

A Bulova men’s watch. For her friend Flynt’s birthday. Apparently, the guy is always late.

In all the pictures, the items are laid out on, what I believe, is Victoria’s bed. God, that girl has great taste. If you have the cash, why not, right?

As I take a sip of my tea, a new message comes in, and as I look at it, I choke on my hot mouthful of liquid.

The last picture is of Victoria, dressed in nothing more than a pair of tight fitting jeans and a nice light blue bra. The picture is a simple selfie, took in a mirror with her phone. I can see the light bruises on her body, almost completely faded away, as on her face. Despite her arms speckled with scabs, she looks good. A small mischievous smirk details her face.

‘Victoria’s secret. Thought you may like to see it on a model instead.’

My tongue presses up against my palate, burned. I’m no stranger to flirtatious texts. My friends send me them all the time, in fact Chloe’s favorite thing was to send me lewd sms’s. However, with them it’s all in friendly fun. In Victoria’s case…

Even though good-natured, I have a feeling that this isn’t quite ‘friendly.’ Don’t get me wrong, these are flirty...but she’s a bit too good at this. It’s hard for me to keep my composure. I grumble at myself. I shouldn’t keep lusting after my new friend. It was a bad idea.

I can’t help but look at every details of the picture, my eyes glued on her form. The sculpted collarbones, the nicely shaped breasts, the toned stomach. God, why did you have to make her so hot?

Something dark near her hips catch my attention. A bruise? It’s black and almost hidden completely by the jeans. For a moment a rush of concern quells my dark desires. Was that another injury? Strange place that I don’t recall seeing harmed but then again Chloe did go ‘ape’ on her. I send out a text rapid fire.

‘Is that a bruise on your hips? Looks really dark.’

The reply is almost instantaneous.

‘Nope. Tattoo’

Relief makes it easy to breath again, but now the concern is replaced with curiosity. A tattoo? Victoria Chase never struck me as the type who likes tattoos.

‘What is it?’

The answer comes just as quick. ‘That’s a secret ;-)’

 

***

“Of course we know... three glasses of the Cabernet,” Taylor told the waiter with a flick of her wrist, “we’ll start with that and then order.” The waiter nodded and left. Courtney nodded towards me, handing me the menu,

“Order whatever you want, it’s on us.” she told me with a playful wink. The engaged duo surprised me one day after classes by whisking me away from my previous evening plans of lounging on my bed and doodling. Once they pushed me into Taylor’s car did they declare that they were treating me to dinner for saving Victoria from getting murdered. From there I was spirited away to a very nice restaurant that just opened downtown.

The menu’s one simple laminated page. Nice typeset. Great design...My eyes pop at the prices and I put down the menu, gazing at them with my mixture of both gratitude and concern,

“You guys don’t need to treat me like this, I did what anyone else would have” I protested gently. I’m sincerely touched that both Courtney and Taylor felt this gracious towards me, but I was never one to accept gifts well. I expected jovial pushback however was surprised when both girls expressions fell, an unexpected somberness chilled the atmosphere.

Taylor quietly reached across the table and grasped my hand, “I wish you were right.” she squeezed, “unfortunately, most people would’ve left her to suffer.”

I tilted my head, a tick I have when I’m perplexed. Courtney nodded, “Victoria’s not the warmest and fuzziest person in the world, and she’s made some horrible mistakes, but once you get passed that she does truly have a good heart…” Courtney ran a hand through her hair, “perhaps if she didn’t have such a chip in her shoulder people would see it, but then again the Chase’s have never been exactly warm and fuzzy.”

“what do you mean?” I asked, both curious and a bit apprehensive of where this conversation was going. Taylor rolled her eyes, still peeved at the topic of Victoria’s parents,

“I’ve met them a few times and they gave me some modicum of respect because my mother is a fucking awesome entertainment attorney. However they don’t hide that they don’t think too highly of us because my mom was knocked up with me at 21 and then married a Kindergarten teacher, my step-dad, who I love very much thank you.”

Courtney shrugged, “I don’t have enough money for them to even pay attention to me.”

I winced. I had always suspected that Victoria’s parents weren’t exactly the nicest people but I had always hoped that they weren’t, well, jerks (to be polite). “however,” Courtney continued, “they really ignored Victoria, their own daughter. To be fair, they were building an art empire but Victoria was left largely alone or with nannies. I think, once during her fifth birthday her dad left halfway through the party and her mom wasn’t even there?”

I involuntarily grimaced. Regardless of my own previous turbulent history with my own family they had made it a point to always celebrate everyone’s birthday together. Every holiday, every Sunday…

“The only time they praise her is at functions when everyone else is watching. Other than that they never really talked to her, or just hung out. Like, you know, what parents are supposed to do? If they were around they just criticized her for not being good enough.”

“Something about the world’s vicious and not nice so they were trying to prep her for that? She went into it a few times, ‘the Chase’s have to blah’ ‘Chase’s aren’t blah’ it’s a dog eat dog world so the Chase’s have to be the biggest, baddest one of them all, blah blah blah .” Courtney explained, “either way, it fucked her up good.”

Well that certainly explained why Victoria could never seem to have enough therapy. She really was just never hugged enough as a kid.

“Yeah, we suspect that’s one of the reasons why she hasn’t had much luck with friends or dating.”

I shook my head, baffled, “no way.” Hyper-intelligent, super charming (when she wants to be), super rich, Hot as Hell Victoria having trouble making friends or dating? I didn’t buy it. “Victoria can get anyone she wants.”

This time Taylor scoffed at me, “Pfft. Yeah, she can sleep with anyone she wants. But hookups are one thing -- but getting someone to seriously consider dating her? That’s been a shit show. So far the people that she’s gone for either use her because she has money and can get into all the best parties or they string her along because they like the attention but don’t actually like her.” Taylor then exaggerated in a high-pitch voice, “ oh, you’re fun and hot and all but you don’t actually want to be serious, do you? because, like, why do you want to put pressure on this?”

Courtney joined in, rolling her eyes as she continued in the same high-pitched voice, “come on, let’s get lit, let’s not talk about this”

“I’m so confused. I need time to think about what you said” Taylor then snapped her fingers before growling, “then the assholes ghost her.” Courtney then concluded, serious and deadpan “a couple of them gave her an STD before ghosting her.”

My chest squeezed, empathizing with Victoria’s past heartbreak. I had thought my lack of a dating life had been painful. I had been practically been skipping through fields of rainbows compared to Victoria.

“Then there was Casey…” Courtney blurted out. Taylor let out another depressed sigh. My eyes flicked from fiance to fiance.

“Do I want to know who this is?” I ask out loud, more to myself to my company. Taylor moved her hair to the side before explaining,

“So, when Vicky cares about you she showers you in gifts. That’s just how she is. She’s super loaded so it’s not a big deal for her. Usually Vicky’s flings are flattered or turned off. But Casey…” Taylor frowned, as though this memory soured her mouth,

“That bitch took advantage of her.”

“how?” I couldn’t help but ask. I already dreaded the answer I did not know.

“Talk about 5,000 bucks advantage of her.” Courtney spat, “something about student loans, as soon as Vic completed the wire transfer that girl left for Los Angeles and broke up with her two weeks later over text.”

My stomach dropped. That was rather devastating. A flash of a memory hit behind my eyes. Once, at Blackwell, while I took a walk in the woods I saw Victoria sitting behind the Tobanga, uncharacteristically by herself. I wouldn’t ever forget her pose. Elbows on her knees, head hung low as though in mourning of something. At the time I couldn’t believe how such a force of nature, the self-proclaimed queen of Blackwell, could look so frail and destroyed. At the time I wondered if I should approach her, but I let her be, knowing that she wouldn’t appreciate my company.

“That hit her really hard.” Taylor resumed, a tender expression on her face, “after that she began drinking and snorting wayyyy too much coco.”

“coco?”

“Cocaine. That’s how they call it in all the rap songs now.”

“Oh.” I blinked, then my eyes widened, “Oh!”

Taylor then ran a hand through her hair, “then she kept ODing” she sighed, the memories still too fresh and traumatic. “Jesus, that was fucking terrifying.” Courtney vented, then she flashed me an apologetic smile, “sorry, Kate.” I shook my head, others taking the Lord’s name in vain didn’t faze me, I was FAR more concentrated on something else.

“Kept over-dosing? What? How many times?” I blurted. I had always figured that Victoria was self-destructive. But this wasn’t crazy…

This was just sad.

Courtney laid a hand on her fiancé's arm, “I think it was after our third...or fourth? time dragging her to the ER we then dragged her to rehab. We couldn't keep seeing her do this to herself.”

Taylor snapped her fingers, memory refreshed as she continued, “I have to give her credit though, I thought she was going to run and scream and throw a tantrum...but I remember her laying in the bed and how she just...agreed to do it. Easy. I think she also had enough of it all.”

“Since then I think she’s had only a couple of hookups? If even? She hasn’t dated since she got out of rehab. No one’s caught her interest.” Courtney looked up, as though to check her bank of memories. I felt myself sink in my chair as I saw her eyes flick towards me, as if to make sure I got what she said.

“When was that?” I ask again, my voice quiet as I tried to absorb all this intense information.

“...About a year ago now?”

“Hmmmm, the last time she OD’d was...before labors day, I remember we were talking about forcing her to rehab when we went to visit your mom that weekend.” a small sly smile curved Courtney’s lips, “that’s also when I asked your mom for permission to marry you.”

Taylor’s mouth fell open to a wide-mouthed grin, “scandalous.” she intertwined her hand with Courtney’s, “I knew it was a bit strange for you to want to go grocery shopping with her for, like, two hours.” There was a moment where both of them were lost in each other’s eyes, smiling at one another...in love.

I couldn’t deny that even I was awe-struck by how beautiful their love was. How was I surrounded by these amazing couples? Share some romance for the rest of us, please. Taylor then looked back at me, her tone softer and her eyes a bit brighter thanks to her one-to-be, “she took the time in rehab to really consider how she got there. I think the time alone, where she couldn’t distract herself, really helped a lot. When she got out she was more connected to herself and determined to achieve what she wanted out of life.”

I nodded, letting out a tiny sigh of relief. Even though I had just recently seen Victoria, I was glad to know for certain that she had improved and...well...wasn’t the same Victoria that terrorized me years before.

“Another reason why she hasn’t been dating was because she invested herself back into her career. Even though she went to Blackwell for photography her parents wanted her to studying business in college. She chose Seattle U just to piss her dad off. He wanted her to be a Harvard alumnus, just like him. When she started school, she was so down, like she felt she had to give up her dream to take over the family business, like she didn’t have any choice in the matter. Once she got out of rehab, she had this determination to prove she could do both. A successful ‘heiress’ to the Chase empire and a renowned photographer. She found several young designers in Seattle that need a photographer to show their work. She helped them build their portfolio while they helped her build hers.And right now, she’s on the right path to do both.”

Courtney took the edge of her napkin and played with it as she finished, “She’s been doing so well lately that… Well, she felt she was ready to go back and try to meet someone that would stay around for more than one night.”

“So that’s why we went to the Masquerade. It was her actual first real night of clubbing since rehab. It was her test.” Taylor quipped, as though offhandedly.

I gulped. Welp. That’s the point where I knew how the story turned out. I tugged at my hands, now realizing why Taylor had been so desperate when Victoria had gotten beaten up. She had witnessed one of her best friends go through...a lot. Now knowing what I did, I felt even worse about the violent episode than I did before. Karma may have already served Victoria the cold justice she deserved over the past three years.

In a way a rather melancholy gratefulness cooled my stomach. Both Victoria and I had been through a rather trying three years after Blackwell. The waiter came and placed the glasses in front of us, the only sound between the three of us were of modern ambrosia being poured.

Courtney thankfully broke the awkward silence by lifting up her wine glass, “to Kate.”

Taylor smiled, bright, “To Kate.”

I lifted up my hands, trying to protest against this before a deep male voice interrupted me, “To the amazing Kate that I keep hearing about!” A warm pressure gently rested on my shoulder. I looked up, a bit confused. Who was this man?

He smiled only warmth at me, “remember me, my golden goddess?” Immediately the gears clicked in my brain,

“Simon!”

He laughed, “yes that’s what I’m called. How are you all?” Taylor and Courtney helped spare me by providing the pleasantries. Simon nodded genially and began to make small talk with the engaged couple when I noticed another guy with a rather sweet, boyish charm standing next to him, staring at me.

“Hello?” I asked him quietly. He leaned towards me and whispered back,

“I just wanted to thank you for the night at the Masquerade. You helped me get a number of a very cute girl. We’ve been on a few dates already and it’s been going really well. I owe it all to you”

I pursed my lips, trying desperately to remember who I had helped, who on earth did I interact with before Victoria? Well there was Alex and her girlfriend, Max, Chloe - that awfully presumptuous woman wanting a threesome...I clucked my tongue as my memory sparked,

“the color blind boy?” I blurted out. He smiled, playful glint in his eye,

“You may also call me Flynt, but you don’t have to.” He told me. Even within these quiet few seconds I could feel just how much of a sincerely sweet guy Flynt was. So, I couldn’t help but extend my arms out to give him a hug, which he returned. You can always tell a good person from how they hug.

“Of course, we’ll all make it! Right, Kate?”

I broke the hug, looking at the rest of the table, confused.

“I have a new bar and it’s soft open is next friday. I’d love for all of you come.”

“A new bar? Wow, that’s impressive at your age.” I have to admit, being so young and owning a bar is impressive. But two, that’s quite the feast.

“Yes, it’s an arcade and pool bar near campus. We were lacking on a more laid back place where people could relax and have a drink. I love nightclubs and traditional pubs, but I felt like we needed something different in the area. Anyway, I’d love for all of you to come. Including Price and her shy girlfriend.”

“Chloe Price would never miss the chance of going out. And Max will come too. So am I.”

Taylor and Courtney both grinned at me, before Courtney told Simon, “ And we’ll tell Victoria about it.”

“You won’t have to. She was the first one on the list. You know her, she would have been quite insulted if she wasn’t my first invitation.”

“You know her, Victoria the VIP”

I nodded, leave it to Victoria to always be within the top ten to get into any party. I blinked and involuntarily turned to the left where I caught Taylor staring at me in such a way that it reminded me of those police dramas. You know, where the police are staring at the suspect from behind a two way mirror and trying to decide whether or not this person is telling the truth or not?

“Kate?” Flynt’s voice snapped me back to reality, I looked at him and saw Simon also looking at me expectantly. I smiled politely and answered,

“I look forward to it.”

***

My shoulders constantly brushed against people’s arms and backs as I made my way to the back of the bar where my friends were. The new space was crowded but something told me that whenever Simon threw events, people showed up. When I finally was able to make to them, Chloe handed me my drink(a simple gin and tonic) and I took a few minutes to look around the place.

Where the front and back of the bar had large windows and let in a lot of natural light, but in strategic places where the light couldn’t reach along the walls was where the arcade games were lined up. There were several communal long tables that went along the center. On the sides were various smaller high tables and stools.

It gave it a very modern, hip but laid back place to hang out during the late afternoons and nights.

Even though I typically choose not to hang out in bars, I admit that I could see myself hang out in such place. It doesn’t feel like a bar at all. Max and Taylor are chatting while Chloe and Courtney get rowdier and rowdier at their racing game. As pathetic as it seemed, observing the decor and design concept wasn’t the only reason my eyes were wandering. I was searching for the VIP of the party who was thankfully and annoyingly elusive today. More often than not I wanted to smack myself for thinking about her so much. Logically, it made sense. I mean, she is the very first thing to a ‘sapphic’ experience I’ve ever had (never forget your first time, right? Or almost first time?). Then she did bully me and then she was hurt and she’s lovely and drives me up the wall and she’s so talented and--

OK. KATE. CHILL. JUST. CHILL.

What ultimately caught my attention was a beautiful pool table off to the side of all the arcades. It stood there, ignored, but still dignified. I approached it and ran my hands down the wooden sides. Very nice and very new. My fingertips run along the felt. Pop would love this-

“Wanna play?” The sudden hand on my shoulder make me jump a little and I turn around to find the intruder. It’s Victoria grinning at me, the same mischievous smile she had on the picture she sent me last week.

“Victoria,” I uttered. Of course it’s only now when she pops out of hiding. Frustratingly, she’s still as attractive as ever (OMG, KATE. CHILL). She held a drink in her hand, swirling it as her green eyes peered at me, more focused than usual. She was onto something but I didn’t quite know what yet...

“We could even raise the stakes a little. Make it a little bit more exciting.” she continued, very persistent on this topic for some mysterious reason.

“Sorry but I don’t really have the cash to gamble with you.”

“Who said money?” Victoria teased as she took another step into my space, “How about…” knowledge?”

I looked up at her, puzzled. “Knowledge? Like trivia night?”

“More like the winner can ask three questions, about anything. And the loser has to answer them, without lying.” she explained, oh so casually. She moved her bangs off to the side as if this was so normal that it was almost boring. That she didn’t have anything to gain.

Yet I knew from both observation and experience that Victoria was deceptively smart. She knew that it would be very difficult to say no if I could gain the same thing. Sneaky fox, I thought to myself. This is a double edged sword. I shouldn’t agree to this.

But at the same time I do like to play pool...

Victoria leaned down while winking, “You could ask me about anything.”

I watch, hypnotized, as her hand travel across her chest and stomach before stopping on her right hip.

The picture she sent me last week flash in my mind.

The tattoo.

If I had paranoia, I would feel like she planned all this.

“Fine. Who’s breaking?”

With a grin, Victoria flashes me a quarter. “Heads or tails?”

Yup! I don’t know to what extent, but this was definitely planned.

“Heads.”

And with that she flicked the coin and caught it within a fist. Her long fingers unfurled, George Washington stared seriously at me from within her palm, “You break.”

She sets up the rack and hands me the cue ball, a smirk on her lips and a playful glint in her eye. She leans on one hand, watching me position myself. She’s downright smug. I get it, I don’t hang out in bars. Of course she doesn’t think I’ve seen many pool tables before.

Silently I raise my elbow and aim-- CRACK! I hit the cue ball with the right amount of strength and the rack spreads out in rapid color, sending the solid green in the left corner pocket opposite of me.

Victoria gives a slight nod, impressed that I got one in. However, judging by her smile, she believes that this is just luck. I bite the inside of my cheek as I cross over to the other side of the table. I hate how she can be so arrogant and so...hot.

I reposition myself, hit the cue ball again, and wink at Victoria, a second before the blue ball also sank in the opposite pocket. Quick. Seamless. Professional.

The air of confidence around Victoria dissipates immediately. She muttered something that sounded like ‘shit’.

She looks at me with wide green eyes and I return her smug smirk at her.

Because she’s correct that I don’t hang out in bars and I don’t usually play pool...in bars. My parents’ house has this wonderful spacious basement that my Pop has dubbed his ‘man-cave’, which I can’t really blame him for having when you have so many women living in the same house. Among all the things he had, there was a nice second-hand pool table that my sisters and I would use as children. When Chloe and Max moved in we spent most of our evenings and weekends playing during the remaining of our high-school and the summer before college. Even with our busy schedules now we still play pretty regularly in the student lounge on campus.

In conclusion:

I’m hella good at pool.

I felt Victoria stare at me as I line up my third shot. I chuckle to myself.

You are so going down.

My third shot is a miss. None of my balls aligned correctly on the table. When Victoria takes place for her turn, she’s definitely more sober and serious. She gets one in. The other one she misses. By now Courtney ventured into our perimeter, watching us play.

Fifteen minutes later and all our friends have gathered around, cheering and hollering and believing that this somehow was the billiard game of the century.

“BETS ON BUN BUN!” Chloe cheered. Flynt whistled loudly in support. I couldn’t help but grin at my fans.

Taylor hands Victoria another drink as she shook her head, also grinning ear to ear, “Tori beat the town champion in Montreal, Kate’s going to have a hard time.” Taylor boasts.

Max then playfully elbows Taylor while retorting, “Kate’s from the streets, she’s small and scrappy. She eats rich girls all the time.”

I immediately froze at Max’s statement. I’m sure she didn’t mean the double entendre...but it wasn’t too long ago that I seriously did want to “eat that rich girl.” My eyes peer over the table to Victoria’s legs, up her torso, to her face--- where I saw she was staring straight at me as well. We simultaneously averted our eyes, my cheeks burned, guilty.

I struck the cue ball and missed. I stood up and gave Victoria the space to position her shot. Simon clapped the wood on the pool table, “Come on Vic! Make the rich kids proud! Eat that peasant” he said jovially.I snuck a glance at her and saw how her ears and neck were bright pink.

I do have to hand it to her, Victoria is quite good. I would have never have guessed that Queen Victoria would ever lift a billiard stick, let alone sink in TWO AT THE SAME TIME? OK. Time to concentrate!

Forty five minutes later and I was just inching in the lead. I just had to sink in that solid red 3, then I could finally move onto the 8 ball. Victoria still had two striped balls on the table. I was going to win. I could feel the drums of near success pulse against my chest.

Internally, there was a part of me that was already wiggling in pride. I could ask her anything! Anything at all!

As I prepped my shot, I tuned out the hoots and trash-talking of my friends and focused on the table. Across from me there stood Victoria, leaning on one arm, watching. She was doing her best to remain unfazed. The sharp line of her jaw not moving, her lips pursed as she watched me . However her fingers gripped the lip of the pool table with stress. Also a tendon within her neck protruded as observed my movements. Another thing I recognized was that Victoria didn’t blink as much when she was focused, angry or stressed out.

Today she’s wearing a chic bomber jacket, inside a crop top shirt exposing her impressive core. What type of workout did she do? Pilates? Maybe, it’s certainly trendy enough. Yoga? No, Victoria was way too uptight for that. Running? I don’t know, it seemed rather boring for her.

Whatever it was, her stomach had some nice definition… I followed a line of muscle down to her hip to the edges of black ink that peeked over the edge of her jeans. Before I could think better I imagined my finger dipping into the waistband of the denim and tracing along that tattoo. The contrast of rough fabric versus hot flesh along my index finger-- a sharp tingle of animalistic intuition caused me to flick my eyes up to see those unblinking eyes staring at me staring at her crotch.

!!!!?!?!!!!!!!! My brain blitzed in fright and mortification.

I flinched, looking back towards the ball, my heart and nerves blitzed out and my arm shot forward too quickly. CLU-RACK!

!?!?! That’s not a good sound!!!!

Oh Shit.

It was off shot as the cue ball clipped the red 3 rather than striking it head on. The solid 3 completely spun way off and instead of becoming a strange anomaly, it did the unthinkable and struck the 8 ball head on…

Causing the 8 ball to leisurely, as though taking a lovely stroll, towards on of the holes.

“Oh! Oh! OHHHHHHH!” Everyone cried out as the 8 ball dropped into the hole. I leaned down as all our friends went nuts. I wasn’t even sad. I was embarrassed. That had been a ridiculously easy shot. But no. I had been distracted by Victoria.

Not by her face.

Not by her hands.

Not by her lips

Not by her eyes.

But

By

Her

God.

Given.

Hips.

In

Those

Low

Cut

Jeans.

Welp. I heard God and all the saints laughing at me. Yes. I get it. If I’m going to be such a useless lesbian then I deserved all the humiliation that came to me.

Simon took Victoria’s wrist and raised it above her head, “and the victorious victor--Victoria!”

She did a smug bow to the group before smirking at Simon, “adequate alliteration”

“Wit for the winners” he quipped. Chloe stamps down, at my side, jumping to my honor,

“I call foul play” she crows, “I smell shenanigans!” I laugh and lift up my hands in surrender,

“No, no, I got distracted--”

“excuses, excuses!” Flynt interjected. I laughed because, yeah, it was a excuse but come on, had he SEEN Victoria Chase? I know he’s colorblind but even in grayscale Victoria Chase was gorgeous.

“Who distracted you?” Taylor teased. By habit I felt my jaw snap downwards, avoiding anyone’s gaze. I heard the good-natured chuckles of my friends.

Humbly I bowed and playfully handed over my billiard stick, “you won fair and square, Victoria”

Victoria’s green eyes twinkled as she formally took my billiard stick, “you certainly gave me a run for my money.”

Victoria pulled ever so slightly on the stick while my hands were still on it, pulling me forward just enough where the space between us was private. Her lips curved into that notorious trademark smirk, “so, what was the distraction?” she asked, her voice low enough where no one could hear.

“Alright, losers, listen up!” Chloe called out, interrupting the moment. Chloe threw a long arm around Max’s shoulders, “Alright, me and Super Max will take on any new challengers!” Chloe crows. Flynt practically bounces as he throws his arm up,

“who’s in?” he asks and Taylor steps forward, giving him a high five. Courtney and Simon cheer for the new match.

Ugh. I need a drink to cool the burn of my spurned pride. Pop would be ashamed of me. Suddenly a hand gently on my waist and a gentle warmth behind me. I turn to face Victoria and at this close I can see her usually fair cheeks now glowing pink from alcohol.

“I want to show you something.”

Victoria’s eyes are a tinge pink but her expression is earnest. I shift my eyes back to our other friends, who are preoccupied with the newest pool game. They wouldn’t miss us.

“Ok, show me.”

Her hand not leaving my waist she leads me through the masses of people, past the arcade machines, to the back, where hidden behind a curtain-

“stairs?”

Just a small narrow set of stairs that went up darn close to vertical. With a gentle push she urges me up the steps. Once we’re at the top it’s just a small hallway of bookshelves and a window at the end. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool secret hallway but why was she bringing me here? Maybe just to get some privacy...I shove that thought away as Victoria steps around me, going to one of the bookshelves. She puts her hand on the side of it, grasping it.

Then, she just pushes the bookshelf aside with astonishing ease. Wait.

“A hidden door?” I ask aloud, confused as I see that the bookshelf was on a track, small wheels hidden in the grooves. Victoria nods, affirming my suspicions, “a hidden door.” I exclaim again, now a bit giddy. This was the stuff you only saw out of movies! She gestures me inside and I enter.

It’s a hidden bar.

The room is relatively small. The wall were a soft blue and the floor was made of a nice dark grey marble. A modern black leather couch was against the wall at the back of the room, a glass coffee table in front of it and a matching leather chair placed perpendicular to it. On the right of the couch was a fashionable bar with three stools in front of it. The bar itself has sleek dark stainless steel base and a black stone countertop, a light shining on the metallic base. Behind the bar, two open wine cabinet, both filled with bottles of the sweet nectar, are resting on a counter with a mirror between them. The open counter space between where the mirror is is filled with various strong alcohol and a small refrigerator is hidden under the counter. I take place on one of the bar stool while the other girl walk behind the bar.

“I...want to make you a drink.” Victoria slurred. I was about to object, as I already had a couple of drinks but Victoria looked so...eager. It was too cute.

Also as I had learned, when Victoria wanted to do something there was no stopping her. So I nodded, “O.k. I would love to have one.” I answered simply and sincerely. She smiled and tapped the bar, looking for her items.

She kept dropping a couple of things but the intense amount of focus she had was...truly adorable. Also, Victoria’s rather mean streak aside, it was truly astounding to see her at work. To see Victoria performing a craft, whether it be photography or making drinks was to witness a true craftsman immersing themselves.

I was surprised that it only now did I deduce that Victoria was awfully good with her hands.

Would love to feel what those hands could do on me--

I bit my lip rather hard and glanced away for a moment, completely ashamed at my lust. Come on, anyone else, anyone else. Not Victoria. She was a gigantic red flag and completely problematic. Unfortunately my lust just believed that she was the most gorgeous and hottest red flag ever.

Aw Crud.

I was brought back to earth when I heard the glass thud against the bar, Victoria putting it down.

The lowball glass is filled with a clear red-brown liquid, ice, and a small piece of lemon. I take a slow sip and swirl the liquid in my mouth slowly, trying to identify the taste. The first savour that comes up is the bourbon, then the taste of something sweet and fruity followed by a familiar bitterness.

Tea?

“That’s called a green tea and peach julep.” she answered, already anticipating my question.

“It’s tastes really good, thank you. I didn’t know you made drinks”

Victoria slips next to me, leaning on the bar “It’s something that I’ve been exploring more and more. Considering how many bartenders have no idea how to make proper cocktails. I stumbled on this recipe and was practicing it. When I ran into you today, I just thought you might like it.” she says in a bored tone that completely doesn’t match any of the inferred information within this story.

I raise an eyebrow, “You know, the other day at Philz Coffee I remember specifically you saying that ‘tea is the hippy peasants drink that bougie bitches are making trendy because of that one yoga retreat they went on and no one’s going to catch you drinking it.’” I shrug, “but, you just happened to ‘stumble’ upon a tea based cocktail…”

Victoria swipes her hand across her bangs, fixing them. She shrugs, seeming unaffected. However as she sips her own peach her eyes skirt away, avoiding mine. Perhaps it was the liquid confidence but I continue to tease her, “and you just, happened, to know this bar was here and that I would be here and that you would magically have all the ingredients--.”

Victoria’s face burns red as she interrupts, “Simon keeps this place well-stocked.” she pouted, stubborn, “Serendipity is a thing, y’know?”

I look at her, unamused, “Serendipity.” I confirm.

Our eyes meet and despite her confidence I can see the guilt bleeding from those sharp emeralds. She had definitely been planning this encounter all along and I knew it. In that split moment before my rationale can control it, my heart swoons. She had been planning this. Something dense and rich thickens between us and again, my skin tingles, electrified by her presence.

“ Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” I say with as much of a deadpan delivery as possible.

The tension bursts when we both break out in chuckles and giggles. Suddenly her arm slips and she stumbles. I catch her arms, pulling her up onto the stool next to mine.

She let her head fall onto the bar, forlorn. She moaned, “God, I’m such a mess.” I reached out and rubbed her back,

Before I could even think logically, “At least you’re a hot mess” I joked. I felt my stomach turn to ice. Why did I say that? She glanced up at me, her mouth splitting wide before she burst out laughing. That honest full-bellied laugh was truly contagious.

The moment I’m close enough, she grabs my left arm and pulls me toward her, my body almost flush against hers.

“I’m using my first question now...There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.” She whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. This feel so familiar. A flashback to the masquerade. Except this time, there’s no loud music or masks in the way. And this time, I know who the other woman is, what history we share.

“What?” I should move back. Pull myself away from her. I can’t. My heart thunders in my chest.

I can feel her warm breath on my skin as she talks again,“Had Max and Chloe not been there. If we had ended up in a bedroom and you had taken off the masks then. What would have happened?”

“I was going to take my mask off at the bar, remember?”

“Well, let’s just say you didn’t…”

“I don’t think it’s very probable that we both would’ve kept on those masks for much longer, everyone else was taking theirs off---”

“Just humor me.”

It reminded me of the last demand of a dying captain. I nodded and surrendered, “I don’t take my mask off…”

“Say we ended up in my bedroom---”

“Uh, my bedroom.” I interjected.

Victoria’s face scrunched up, “Why your bedroom? What’s wrong with my bedroom?” Victoria asked, genuinely offended.

“No, no - there’s nothing wrong, your bedroom is probably fabulous. It’s just, uh...Chloe and Max didn’t want any strangers taking me back so, I….uh…. decided I would take you back to….my...room….Would have. Hypothetically…”

Another sharp laugh chokes out of Victoria’s throat, “that’s…so...adorable. Stupidly. Adorable.” I’m just let out a strange sheepish gargle out of my mouth. Who wants to be told that they were adorable trying to get a girl back to their room? But at the same time, the way her eyes crinkle with endearment and sincerity...I can’t help but be flattered.

“So, say we end up in your bedroom and then taken off our masks...what would’ve you done?”

I felt my mouth immediately dry. Well that was certainly a question I didn’t expect. What would I have done? I mean, I was so into that moment and so into her at that moment. Had we been ripping our clothes off and then I saw her face? What would have I done? Run? No, it’s my room. I don’t think I would’ve shrugged and let her have her way with me… I probably would’ve screamed. Loud. Very. Very. Loud.

But with how close Victoria and I are now, her fingers along my forearms and mine on hers. I glance up at her eyes and see the anticipated concern, like a young child, waiting to hear from someone whether or not Santa was real or not….

I try and answer tactfully, “Well, hopefully the lights would have been off…” I wince. Try and be tactful... Why did I say that? Seriously, brain? Why do you have to let me down in such time?

Victoria’s eyebrows, scrunch up, as if taken off guard and then a series of giggles bubble out of her throat. That joyous sound...it’s utterly contagious and all too soon I’m giggling with her. Her eyes flash earnest affection before dissolving into something somber, “then we’d have to deal with it in the morning…” Briefly, my mind conjured up what it would have been like, if, hypothetically, I woke up from a glorious night of drinking, dancing and losing my virginity only to see that it was the one and only Victoria Chase in my bed. Victoria Chase naked in my bed…

Lots and Lots of screaming ending in I think I would’ve honestly had an aneurysm.

“That’s a lot to handle naked.” I mumbled, both bitter and amused.

We both crack up in humorous melancholy. Before I softly say, running my fingers down her forearms, “we would’ve had to deal with it sometime.”my fingers catch the edge of her palms,

Victoria lets my fingers glide over the line of her hands before she softly clasps them within her fingers, “I fucking hate myself.” she admits. My eyes flick up to meet her sorrowful green orbs.

“Victoria, don’t…” I try to cut her off. We’ve been over this when she got beat up. This is a scab that we both keep picking at and don’t need to anymore. I just want us to stop bleeding.

Her hands squeeze mine, urgent, desperate, “Kate. I need you to understand, “

“I already do--, you told me” I plead with her, really, really not ready for another emotional wrecking ball of a night with this woman.

“Please.” she hisses.

“Victoria we don’t have to do this everytime we meet” I try and implore her, leaning towards her. My breath catches in my throat when she leans forward towards me as well,

“If I hadn’t been such a heinous bitch…” she says, ignoring me. Her nose brushes against mine once again. “If I had just let you be...let you be your amazing self…”  
I hold my breathe.

She barely whispers, “then I could just…”

Her

Lips

Just

Barely

Brush

Over

Mine

Despite the feather light touch, it conveys only heartbreak. She pulls back, already knowing that she has crossed a line.

However.

Before any sort of logic thought

Can come back into my mind

I lurch forward and capture her lips for a proper kiss.

Because….

God.

Her lips.

Her kiss.

I just needed to feel it again. I needed to taste her once more. I just needed to know her lips before it was all over.

That was the plan, anyway.

Much to my pleasurable misfortune Victoria immediately returned the kiss with a hunger that I remembered from that night. I welcomed it back with my lips.

My hands automatically reach for her shoulders. Even if I can taste the cigarettes and alcohol on her lips I can also taste the delicious sweetness I’ve experienced during the masquerade. It’s also full of… something I don’t even dare to say.

Her hands land on my waist and she pulls herself into me as we kiss, slow and deep. As she presses into me, she shifts my position until my back is pressed against the bar. I feel the blonde part her lips and her tongue traces mine. Unable to contain this desire I open my mouth allowing her tongue to enter and dance with my own.

God.

My hands move from her shoulders, one travels behind to the base of her head to pull her in, further deepening the kiss while my other hand cups her jaw. Feather soft hair tickles my fingers.

God.

Her body presses into mine and one of her hands slides down my thigh, firmly grabbing it and lifting me up, pushing me against the bar as she slid her leg between my thighs. The sudden pressure sending a bolt of pleasure through my body.

A loud moan escapes me and my hips rock against her, the pleasure sparking throughout my body and sizzling deep within my core.

God.

Wait.

What the hell am I doing?

I can’t do this.

I need to stop this madness.

I grasp the underside of Victoria's jaw and push her just enough for our lips to pull apart with a smack. Our noses still just able to nuzzle against one anothers, our mutual panting fills the space between us. My eyesight trails up from her sharp chin, her parted wet lips, up until they lock on her green irises. Her pupils, again, engorged with heat but within the glistening emerald I can sense a...a intimacy. I feel it beneath my fingers that still rest on her neck, the back of her scalp. It makes me weak and want to shrink both away from her and in to her.

The sheer intensity of whatever feelings that lay beneath her skin terrifies me more than the apparent lust amongst us.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. We…” I babble as a sudden thrill of adrenaline began to buzz within my nerves. My arms shake as I let go of Victoria’s face and try to force them to come down and ease myself off the stools, away from her.

However those long, soft fingers ever so gently catch my trembling hands. Those green eyes widened and shin with a compassion I hadn’t seen before. “Katie.” Victoria says, and the sheer tenderness within her voice as she says my name flares up that single feeling within me to scorching blind white:

Panic.

My body flies before I can even think of responding. I bash my hip into a table and tumble over a chair before I dash out of the room. However my freaked out emotions power my limbs to not even feel the chaos. All that matters to me is that I get out of that room and far, far away. Through the drum of my heart beat I manage to hear a single call for ‘Wait’ behind me. However I ignore it.

I ignore the rest of our friends as I flee the bar.

I ignore the entire outside world as I flee, flee, flee back to my room and under my covers.

However I can’t ignore how my heart hammers so hard that my chest hurts. I can’t ignore how my core throbs with an ancient desire that it made in between my thighs ache .

I can’t ignore that I just made out with Victoria Chase

 

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors notes:
> 
> Drew: No, you are not hallucinating, this is really a new chapter!  
> Tiger: Patience is a virtue, is it not?

**Author's Note:**

> Drew244: What has started as a simple beta read ended up as a full collaboration! Thank you Tiger_with_spots for doing so much work on my humble text! It was not only fun but quite the learning experience too. And I want to apologize to the people waiting for the next chapter of “To see you with eyes unclouded”! I’ve been distracting the master from their work!
> 
> Tiger_with_spots: I contributed nothing. Just thirst. I just kept elaborating on the thirst. More and more and more and more…. So, if y’all like Kate Marsh and Victoria Chase being thirsty, that’s mainly what I’m in charge of writing. God. What skills have I accumulated?
> 
> Tiger_with_Spots: So, if you all are waiting for “To see you with eyes unclouded” YOU KNOW WHO TO BLAME AND WHO TO GO AFTER! HAHAHAHA, SUCKKKAAAAAAA
> 
> Drew244: m(_ _)m Sorry!
> 
> Tiger_with_Spots: But seriously, no apologies! Again, prepare your butts for more Chasemarsh thirst, tension and emotional pain because it’s all part of the package!


End file.
